Boner of the Day

Boner Preview Candidates February 23, 2016

Boner Preview Candidate #1: JOHN KASICH KNOWS WHERE MOST WOMEN SPEND THEIR TIME.

Republican presidential candidate and Ohio Gov. John Kasich said Monday that he was elected to office at a young age with the help of an “army of supporters” that included women who “left their kitchens” to knock on doors for him.”How did I get elected? Nobody was — I didn’t have anybody for me. We just got an army of people and many women who left their kitchens to go out and go door to door and put yard signs up for me. All the way back, when things were different. Now you call homes, and everybody’s working,” Kasich said at a town hall in Fairfax, Virginia.

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Boner Preview Candidate #2: EVEN IF IT’S TRUE.

Republican presidential candidate Sen. Ted Cruz (Texas) announced Monday he had asked for the resignation of his senior communications director, Rick Tyler, for spreading a false report about Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.).“This morning, I asked for Rick Tyler’s resignation,” Cruz told reporters at a campaign stop in Las Vegas. The Texas senator said Tyler was “a good man” but that he had “committed a grave error of judgment” and that “even if it was true, our campaign should not have sent it.”

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Boner Preview Candidate #3: IT’S FUN TO HARASS WILDLIFE

A video of a Florida man pulling a shark out of the Atlantic Ocean to pose with it for a few photographs has gone viral on social media. NBC affiliate WPTV Channel 5 reporter Ashleigh Walters posted on her Facebook page a video of the man pulling what appears to be a juvenile bull shark from water onto shore in Palm Beach, Florida. The Facebook video shows that after a few unsuccessful attempts, the man was able to bring the shark onto the beach where he then pinned the apex predator long enough to get a few photographs of himself posing with the shark.

Boner Preview Candidate #4: SEEMS LIKE A FAIR REASON TO MURDER SOMEONE

A British hairdresser was sentenced to life in prison last week after she plunged a knife into her boyfriend’s heart — because she felt he spent too much time on Facebook. Terri-Marie Palmer, 23, broke down in tears as she was convicted of 24-year-old Damon Searson’s murder following a one-week trial, where the details emerged about the fatal end of their rocky relationship, according to multiple reports. Moments before the killing, Palmer posted: “He p***** me off sitting on Facebook, completely blanking me when I’m talking to him,” according to The Mirror Online.

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Boner Preview Candidate #5: SURE I BEAT MY WIFE AND OR GIRLFRIEND. WHY SHOULDN’T IT STILL BE MY RIGHT TO HAVE A GUN.

Sens. Kirsten Gillibrand and Richard Blumenthal urged their colleagues on Sunday to back legislation that would close loopholes that allow domestic-violence abusers to get guns. The New York and Connecticut Democrats also called for the Senate to give a hearing to President Obama’s Supreme Court nominee, with justices soon to hear crucial gun-control cases. “Under current law, even domestic abusers who have been tried and convicted of their violent crimes are allowed to buy guns,” Gillibrand told reporters in Manhattan on Sunday.

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