Boners

Boner Preview Candidates for September 22, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: DON’T TELL ME HOW TO DISCIPLINE MY KID.

Harrowing images of a man apparently dragging his young daughter by the hair through a Texas Walmart are being circulated around the internet as one concerned mother has spoken out. “Somebody had to stand up for her,” Erika Burch of Cleveland told InsideEdition.com. “She can’t stand up for herself. Whatever he’s doing, big or small, if I’m there, I’m going to stop and say something.” Burch posted a series of images on Facebook Monday of what appeared to be a man pushing a shopping cart with his daughter’s hair wrapped around the handle of the buggy.

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Boner Candidate #2: OOPSIE!

The ACLU of Connecticut is suing state police for fabricating retaliatory criminal charges against a protester after troopers were recorded discussing how to trump up charges against him. In what seems like an unlikely stroke of cosmic karma, the recording came about after a camera belonging to the protester, Michael Picard, was illegally seized by a trooper who didn’t know that it was recording and carried it back to his patrol car, where it then captured the troopers’ plotting.

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Boner Candidate #3: HOW DO PEOPLE BECOME LIKE THIS?

In the span of a week, students at two colleges have found themselves at the center of widespread criticism for posting racially charged photos to social media. At Belmont University in Nashville, a student was expelled from the school on Tuesday after sharing a photo of football players with the Philadelphia Eagles raising their fists during the national anthem, according to a report from The Tennessean.

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Boner Candidate #4: IT’S SPIDER SEASON!

An eight-legged passenger caused a rollover crash Wednesday in Portland, Oregon that totaled a car, according to local authorities. The driver lost control after a spider fell from the rearview mirror, causing her to panic and swerve off the road into a ditch, reported news station WSBT. “Spider season is in full swing,” authorities tweeted in a warning to other arachnophobia drivers.

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Boner Candidate #5: YEAH WE BEEN DRINKIN’ A BIT

Police in New Hampshire say they arrested two women who appeared drunk and were “barely able to stand” at a mall to care for their babies, with one woman lying in a puddle while holding her child above her head. Police say the women acknowledged they consumed alcohol when they were found in a parking lot at the Mall at Rockingham Park in Salem on Monday evening. Both were charged with endangering the welfare of a child.

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Boner Candidate #6: I WAS HERE FIRST

Lawrence Franklin, 34, was taking his daughter to school when volunteer William Denamen says the father was trying to cut in line. “I said, ‘No, no, no, you’re not doing that. That is wrong for the rest of the people who have been here.’ Then, he blew the horn for three to five minutes at me. I laughed,” Denamen said. Denamen, a retired Pasco County Sheriff’s Office deputy, said he started to walk away when the car rammed into him. He says when he regained his balance, he was hit again.

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