Boner of the Day

Boner Preview Candidates for September 28, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: HEY, WHO PUT THAT IN MY WALLET?

Former NFL star Greg Hardy was arrested for possession of COCAINE late Sunday night in Texas … TMZ Sports has learned.  According to the police report, Hardy was pulled over in a 2010 Dodge Challenger because he didn’t use a turn signal. Cops say Hardy and his passenger told them they had just eaten at Applebee’s and were headed home. Police asked them if they had anything illegal inside the vehicle, and Hardy said no … and then gave them permission to search the car.

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Boner Candidate #2: OTT OUGHT TO BE OUT

Salt Lake County Recorder Gary Ott called in sick Tuesday. Had he shown up as scheduled for Tuesday afternoon’s County Council meeting, Ott would have been called upon to respond to the county auditor’s evaluation of his office’s performance. Its first finding, according to an auditor’s office summary, was that Ott did not participate directly in the day-to-day management of the recorder’s office and its 43 employees.

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Boner Candidate #3: CAKE KICKER!

Angry at the way her custom-made cake turned out, a Michigan woman drop-kicked the cake across a grocery store, CNN reports. Witnesses say that while sending the dessert airborne, the woman also dropped some less-than favorable language before storming out of the Kroger store. Tricia Kortes faced a judge on Thursday, who sentenced her to 300 hours of community service, in addition to paying a $500 fine.

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Boner Candidate #4: MOST OF US JUST READ MAGAZINES OR LOOK AT OUR PHONES IN THERE.

A Macon man reportedly shot himself in the leg Saturday afternoon while sitting on the toilet. According to a Bibb County incident report, the man was sitting on the toilet in his home while trying to clean his pistol when it went off, striking him once. The man told authorities, when they responded to the hospital in reference to the shooting, that he had dropped the magazine and was trying to ride the hammer of the gun forward when it slipped, causing the weapon to go off.

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Boner Candidate #5: AND WHAT ABOUT YOU MR. MAYOR? HOW HAVE YOU TREATED THE WOMEN IN YOUR LIVE?

Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani called Hillary Clinton “too stupid” to be president while defending Donald Trump as a “feminist” in one dizzying statement after another. The remarks came following Monday night’s presidential debate, during which Clinton discussed working for the middle class while Trump bragged about not paying his taxes and sniffled a lot. In a video from Elite Daily, Giuliani criticized Clinton for standing by her husband after his extramarital affair with intern Monica Lewinsky.

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Boner Candidate #6: YUCK. JUST YUCK.

The pharmaceutical executive who wanted to make HIV patients pay through the nose for medication is now willing to get punched in the nose for charity. Martin Shkreli, aka Pharma Bro, said he is currently auctioning off the chance to punch him in the face to raise money for the family of Mike Kulich, his former PR consultant who died in his sleep on Saturday morning.

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