Boner Preview Candidate #1: PARDONEZ MOI….I DID NOT WIN ZEE LOTTERY? ZOOT ALOR!
A French woman who thought she won the lottery jackpot racked up thousands in bills when she went on a shopping spree to celebrate, only to learn her ticket was off by a digit. The 46-year-old mom then had to sheepishly explain her spendthrift ways to court after cops arrested her for fraud, having bounced cheques all over the Haut-Doubs region of France. According to newspaper L’Est Republicain, which did not name the woman, her husband was worried the lottery company was slow in sending his wife the winnings, so he rechecked her ticket. That’s when he realized her spending celebrations were a tad premature.
Boner Preview Candidate #2: COME ON IT’S SPRING BREAK AT LAKE HAVASU
Two scantily-dressed people were arrested on Sunday evening in the Walmart parking lot on suspicion of disorderly conduct. Lake Havasu City Police say 29-year-old Bryan Suganuma and 21-year-old Liza Fedroff, both from Flagstaff, were arrested after they attempted to enter the store. Suganuma was wearing red underwear and a white towel he was using as a cape and Fedroff was dressed in bikini bottoms and pasties.
Boner Preview Candidate #3: I AM ALLERGIC TO THE BLACK PEOPLE
An Iowa man who was wearing a surgical mask when he allegedly attacked a black man told police it was because he’s “allergic to black people.” Andy Benavidez, 47, allegedly used racial slurs during the fight, which took place in Iowa City on Sunday, according to CBS 2 Iowa. The victim has not been publicly named. Police say Benavidez told them he wore the mask so he wouldn’t catch germs from black people, the station reported.
Boner Preview Candidate #4: COME ON. GET ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF HISTORY.
It’s depressing and telling that the man in the video above carries an ideology that has serious heft in the ongoing struggle over the formation of a Gay-Straight Alliance Club at Franklin County High School in Winchester, Tennessee. But the world we live in is one in which someone can babble, “You know, when you have clubs, usually it’s a science club, uh, uh, different clubs, health club or Rotary Club or different clubs, but their schools have their clubs, uh, but a club that’s just to decide about sex that falls out of the realm of the education,”
Boner Preview Candidate #5: WHEN YOU GOTTA SHOOT UP, YOU GOTTA SHOOT UP
A man was busted on charges of using the public restroom in the lobby of a Florida police station to shoot heroin. Samuel Alicea, 35, entered the Lakeland Police Department to utilize the bathroom near the front desk around 8 a.m. Friday, Fox 35 Orlando reported. A desk officer heard a loud thump coming from the restroom. The officer knocked on the locked door and yelled out without getting a response, the station reported.
Boner Preview Candidate #6: HOW DO THESE THINGS GET PASSED OFF TO THE PUBLIC?
Forever 21 has pulled a controversial t-shirt after getting a huge backlash from consumers who called the gear “shameful” and “rapey.” The graphic tee featured a slogan that seemingly referred to sexual consent: “Don’t Say Maybe If You Want To Say No.” The Internet response was overwhelmingly negative, with Twitter users accusing Forever 21 of cracking jokes at the expense of rape victims.
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