Because a good mascot is hard to find!
I didn’t think I’d need to dig up this juvenile, tongue-in-cheek satirical article about the mascot of the new high school in Farmington. But the drama over the Phoenices is getting bigger! (And who said that size doesn’t matter?!) It seems that the mayor of Farmington thinks the school mascot is something that should concern him. And I thought that the Davis County School District was in charge. So again, Mayor Talbot, I offer you some harmless alternative mascots.
There has been a little bit of concern by members of the community over the choice of the phoenix as the mascot for the new high school in Farmington, Utah. There are a few who think that the plural form of phoenix, which is phoenices, sounds naughty. There is even an online petition to change the mascot. (Give me a break.) Since I’m a Farmington resident, I’d like to help. Here are five alternate mascots that are clearly non-offensive and safe.
5. The Jackasses.
Who doesn’t love donkeys? There is a donkey in a field by my house in Farmington. This honors our community.
4. The Woodchucks.
I can’t think of anything wrong with this word. Nothing bad rhymes with woodchuck.
3. The Pussycats.
Pretty much everyone loves kitties. This would be a fun mascot!
2. The Titmouse.
The plural is titmice, and that has no similarity to any anatomical feature.
1. The Gamecocks.
This works for the South Carolina Gamecocks. Their mascot is named Cocky. Go mighty gamecocks!
And if none of these work, they could always be the Farmington Woodpeckers.
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