The Dark Tower Trailer Might As Well Be Another Stranger Things

For all the hype, it might as well be straight to VOD

And I hated Stranger Things. It was Goosebumps. It was Eerie, Indiana. It was Tales From the Crypt for Kids. It was Hunger Games. I could care less about kids doing anything, let alone battling more monsters. You’d think that will all the films about kids fighting monsters that fighting monsters would be a thing kids did all the time. I’ve never seen it. I’ve seen kids play Overwatch and eat Oreos. The same thing I like to do. I’ve just never seen a kid fight monsters. The only kids I’ve ever seen hold guns and look like they could kill monsters are child soldiers, and we’ve, as a western civilization have decided that’s wrong, yet we make a lot of movies about kids fighting monsters. It’s so silly.

Also, I am a grouch today because we ran out of Diet Coke at work. #CokeJones

Okay, I’ll put it this way: for all the hype I’ve heard about this movie I know zero people who have read this book. If I do know anyone that has read this book, I’ve never heard anyone bring it up in conversation. This leads me to conclude that it’s not that compelling of a story. I do think Idris Elba (who should be the next James Bond) is a badass though, so I am sure I’ll be there an opening day because I am a hypocrite.

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