Boner of the Day

Boner Candidates August 17, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: SHE WOULDN’T HAVE DONE THIS ON HER OWN

A strange twist was revealed in a murder-for-hire case in Morgan County Monday. A husband is trying to help his wife who’s accused of wanting him dead. Sarah Shepard is accused of paying an undercover cop to kill her husband, Richard Shepard. Hartselle police say faked his own death to help them charge her. Shepard helped her attorney try to convince Morgan County Circuit Judge Glenn Thompson to reduce her $500,000 bond on Monday. “This is not something I have anything to compare to. I’m baffled,” Thompson said.

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Boner Candidate #2: I DIDN’T SAY SHE SHOULD BE ASSASSINATED…I SAID SHE SHOULD BE SHOT

CAMBRIDGE — An adviser to Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump doubled down Tuesday on comments he made saying that Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton should be shot for treason. But New Hampshire state Rep. Al Baldasaro, a Republican who co-chairs Trump’s national veterans’ coalition, stressed that he was not saying someone should assassinate Clinton. “The liberal media took what I said and went against the law and the Constitution and ran with it, and they said that I wanted her assassinated, which I never did,” Baldasaro told The Republican/MassLive.com.

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Boner Candidate #3: SPEAK AMERICAN DAMN IT

PHOENIX — The invitations to the border mayors’ meeting landed in inboxes in the United States and Mexico in English and in Spanish, standard for any type of official communication about binational events. One of the guests, Mayor Ken Taylor of Huachuca City, Ariz., was incensed. “I will NOT attend a function that is sent to me in Spanish/Mexican,” Mr. Taylor replied in an email to the invitation sent by John F. Cook, his former counterpart in El Paso and the executive director of the U.S.-Mexico Border Mayors Association.

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