Boners

Boner Candidates for October 13th, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: OKAY. YOU GOT ME ON THE DRUGS BUT THE GUN BELONGS TO THE KID.

When police raided a Minnetonka apartment a few weeks ago and found a small amount of heroin, a local man reportedly admitted on the spot that the drugs were his, and authorities took him at his word. But they had a hard time buying the rest of the man’s story. He said the pellet guns they also seized belonged to his 4-year-old son, court filings show.

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Boner Candidate #2: AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THIS. FOR REAL.

A 911 operator is accused of intentionally hanging up on callers during emergencies simply because she was not in the mood to help, according to Houston police. Crenshanda Williams has been charged with interference with an emergency telephone call. Williams had been employed as a telecommunicator with the Houston Emergency Center since July 2014, and supervisors began to notice that her logs revealed an abnormally high amount of “short calls,” with a duration of less than 20 seconds. Supervisors investigated the recorded call logs, and found that thousands of calls had been disconnected by Williams between Oct. 2015 and March 2016.

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Boner Candidate #3: I AIN’T GOING TO SCHOOL

A 12-year-old Calvert boy was arrested Thursday evening after investigators say his shot his own mother in the back at close range. He told authorities that he shot her because he “didn’t want to go to school.” While most of his classmates spent Friday afternoon at a pep rally at McIntosh High School, the 12-year-old spent his day at the Washington County courthouse. Authorities say he shot his mother at their home in Calvert Thursday around 5 p.m. He was just two feet away from her when pulled the trigger, officials claimed. His mother barely survived the attack.

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