Boners

Boner Fight for April 16th, 2018

BONER CANDIDATE #1: THEY WERE JUST WAITING ON A FRIEND.

Starbucks, which once asked baristas to start a conversation about race with customers, faces fierce criticism — including calls for a companywide boycott — after two black men were arrested at a Philadelphia store, sparking accusations of racial profiling over what the company’s chief executive now calls a “reprehensible” incident. CEO Kevin Johnson apologized in a weekend statement to the two men who were taken out of the store in handcuffs by at least six officers on Thursday and has traveled has from Seattle to Philadelphia, where, he says, “I hope to meet personally with the two men who were arrested to offer a face-to-face apology.” Johnson will also meet with Mayor Jim Kenney (D) and Police Commissioner Richard Ross, according to Philly.com. Protests were underway early Monday at the Philadelphia Starbucks where the incident occurred.

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BONER CANDIDATE #2: BOO BROWNIE BANDIT! BOOO!

CHARLESTON, S.C. — Authorities say a 19-year-old South Carolina man brought his 89-year-old neighbor brownies laced with a tranquilizer and then stole money and a television when she passed out for four hours. Charleston police said in a report the woman told officers Christian Jellico would come over to her home every few weeks and they would talk and she would give him money. Police say when Jellico came over Saturday, he offered the woman brownies. She said the next thing she remembered was waking up on her couch. Authorities say a television and $500 was taken from the woman’s home. Police say a high level of a tranquilizer was found in her system. Jellico is charged with abuse of a vulnerable adult and larceny. Court records didn’t list an attorney.

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