Boners

Boner Fight for April 2nd, 2018

Boner Candidate #1: SWEATY TEDDY DECIDES TO BE HATEFUL AGAIN

National Rifle Association board member and classic rocker Ted Nugent slammed survivors of the Parkland, Florida, school shooting, calling them “liars” and “poor, mushy-brained children.” Nugent made the comments during an interview on “The Joe Pags Show,” a nationally syndicated conservative radio program. “All you have to do now is not only feel sorry for the liars, but you have to go against them and pray to God that the lies can be crushed and the liars can be silenced so that real measures can be put into place to actually save children’s lives,” Nugent said about the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School students. “These poor children, I’m afraid to say this and it hurts me to say this, but the evidence is irrefutable, they have no soul,” he added. Nugent’s comments come six weeks after 17 people were gunned down at the high school, reigniting a national debate on the nation’s gun laws. An outspoken supporter of President Donald Trump, he joins a growing list of conservative pundits, commentators, and government officials who have railed against the student activists.

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Boner Candidate #2: HE JUST MISSED RUNNING OVER MAYOR MCCHEESE.

A man was arrested for DUI after some reckless driving that began in a McDonald’s drive-thru led to several crashes. Sgt. Daugherty of Cottonwood Heights Police Department said the incident occurred around 5 p.m. Saturday at a McDonald’s at 7024 South Highland Drive. According to a statement of Probable Cause, a man in a pickup truck accelerated and rear-ended one car in the drive-thru before hitting another vehicle in the rear while driving at a high rate of speed. Police say the driver then accelerated out of the parking lot backward onto Highland Drive.

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