Boners

Boner Fight for August 16th, 2018

Boner Candidate #1: I WOULD HOPE THAT THE BEARS WOULD JUST EAT THESE PEOPLE

Katmai National Park and Preserve is one of Alaska’s most famous destinations for seeing brown bears, and there’s no better spot to catch the bruins than at Brooks Falls. Every summer, the predators fish for salmon in the river’s roiling whitewater, while crowds of tourists watch from viewing platforms. But for one visitor, that wasn’t close enough. As viewers around the world watched on a livestream, he waded into the river to snap a smartphone picture of the bears as they ate mere yards away. In a statement, the National Park Service said that the incident began around 6:50 p.m. on August 9, when two Alaska residents and an out-of-state tourist slipped out an emergency exit to approach the bears. Other visitors and viewers on explore.org’s bear cams contacted park authorities, who tracked down the group.

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Boner Candidate #2: I THINK IT’S A HALF BAKED MAGGOT

Classes at a small Oklahoma school had to be canceled when parents threatened “open hunting season” on a 12-year-old transgender girl. The adults took to a private Facebook group for parents at Achille Independent School District to unleash a slew of hateful comments on Maddie, a seventh grader, calling her “it,” a “half baked maggot” and saying she should be stabbed, local station KXII-TV reported. “That’s a threat against her life… that’s scary,” said her mom, Brandy Rose.

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