Boners

Boner Fight for August 1st, 2018

BONER CANDIDATE #1: WELL THEN IF YOU ARE GAY AND YOU SMOKE YOU ARE REALLY IN TROUBLE.

The only Republican candidate for a Missouri House seat said that homosexuality kills more people than smoking, it has been revealed. Hardy Billington, 65, is likely to be elected to represent Poplar Bluff in the state House, as the city sits in Butler County, where around 80 percent of residents voted for Donald Trump in 2016. His uncontested nomination is hardly the only anti-gay candidacy in November’s elections, with Republican Donald McBath running to be an elected judge in Florida despite having said that gay people have a “mental illness” and face “ETERNAL damnation.” And in March, it was revealed that Erika Harold – a former Miss America winner who is the Republican nominee for Illinois Attorney General – allegedly said she’d rather give a baby to child abusers than a same-sex couple.

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BONER CANDIDATE #2: IT’S A WONDERFUL PLACE TO STAY IF YOU MAY NEVER SEE YOUR PARENTS AGAIN.

Families that crossed the US border illegally are kept in facilities that resemble “summer camp,” a top immigration official said Tuesday. “I think the best way to describe them would be more like a summer camp,” Matthew Albence of the Immigration and Customs Enforcement Agency testified before the Senate Judiciary Committee. The hearing was convened in order to discuss the Trump administration policy that led to thousands of immigrant kids being separated from their parents. Republicans and Democrats alike denounced the separations during the hearing as Albence insisted migrants get excellent care.

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