Boner of the Day

Boner Fight for August 26th, 2020

Boner Candidate #1: I HAVE A BROWN SON AND HE’S MORE LIKELY TO COMMIT A VIOLENT OFFENSE.

Tuesday night’s Republican National Convention featured a speech from Abby Johnson, who explained how she went from being the director of a Planned Parenthood clinic to becoming an anti-abortion activist. It’s a story she’s told publicly many times before, first in an appearance on Huckabeeon November 8, 2009, a month and a day after quitting her job at Planned Parenthood, and most recently in Unplanned, a 2019 film based on her 2011 memoir. It’s also a story whose basic facts are still in dispute. Here’s Johnson’s full speech from the RNC: About two months after Johnson started telling her conversion story, two investigative reports raised questions about its veracity. At the Texas Observer, Saul Elbein reported that Johnson had been put on a “performance improvement plan” at Planned Parenthood after an incident involving “inappropriate use of work-email,” while two former friends of Johnson’s related that she’d been having money problems and contemplating bankruptcy; one said Johnson had told her she was contemplating joining an anti-abortion organization because she’d been promised high speaker’s fees. “This whole thing is really just about a disgruntled employee,” one of them told Elbein.

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Boner Candidate #2: I DON’T HAVE TO HAVE A REASON.

PROVO — Provo Mayor Michelle Kaufusi says she intends to veto a mask mandate unanimously passed by the Provo City Council Tuesday night. After hours of fine tuning, the council passed an ordinance that would require “all individuals living within or visiting Provo, Utah, to wear face coverings while in indoor or outdoor areas accessible to the public or in attendance at large gatherings.” There are caveats — those exercising, or gathered with people they live with would be exempt. The order also requires masks “where consistent social distancing of at least six feet from individuals not dwelling in the same household is not possible, reasonable, or prudent,” which Councilwoman Shannon Ellsworth pointed out leaves a lot open to interpretation. But council members were mostly united behind the ordinance’s over-arching motive — make masks the norm in Provo. “The vast consensus is that masks help,” said Councilman Bill Fillmore. “Even if we feel that maybe they don’t help me that much in terms of preventing me from getting the virus, it does help other people. … Call it an act of charity.”

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