Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for August 27, 2020

BONERS ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: WHY YOU LITTLE……..

A Utah man has been arrested after he reportedly assaulted and choked his 18-year-old son, who said he was not planning to serve a Latter-day Saint mission. The 49-year-old Ogden man was booked into the Weber County jail on Friday for investigation of aggravated assault and domestic violence in the presence of a child. As of Wednesday afternoon, he remained in custody in lieu of $3,900 bail. According to a probable cause statement, the father told police he “attempted to remove his son from the home after his son stated he did not wish to go on his LDS Church mission.” The son told police that he and his father had been arguing, and when he told his father he did not plan to serve a volunteer mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the older man “grabbed him by the arm … and the two began to physically fight.”

 

Boner Candidate #2: HE WAS TRYING TO MAINTAIN ORDER WHEN NO ONE ELSE WOULD.

“How shocked are we that 17-year-olds with rifles decided they had to maintain order when no one else would?” the Fox News host said.
Fox News host Tucker Carlson ignited widespread condemnation on Wednesday after he attempted to justify the actions of Kyle Rittenhouse, the 17-year-old accused of fatally shooting two protesters during demonstrations in Kenosha, Wisconsin, on Tuesday night.
“So are we really surprised that looting and arson accelerated to murder?” he asked on “Tucker Carlson Tonight.” “How shocked are we that 17-year-olds with rifles decided they had to maintain order when no one else would?”

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Boner Candidate #3: ACE IS THE PLACE WHERE A COVIDIOT WILL COUGH IN YOUR FACE.

After repeatedly being asked to wear a mask inside an Ace Hardware store, a Florida Man allegedly coughed directly in the face of an employee before backhanding the victim and then striking a customer in the face, cops charge. Police charge that Wood (seen at right) was asked by employees to leave the hardware store since he “refused to wear a mask.” While being asked to vacate the business, Wood “turned around and coughed directly in the face of an employee,” according to an arrest affidavit.

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BONERS ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: I NEVER ASKED FOR SOMEONE TO COMPILE THOSE VIDEOS THAT I HAVE NEVER SEEN AND DON’T HAVE IN MY ARCHIVES, DO I?

Washington NFL team staffers secretly produced and distributed a video of the team’s cheerleaders in compromising positions, including clips with their bare breasts exposed … this according to a new bombshell report. It all went down during a 2008 shoot for a “Beauties on the Beach” calendar — where a video crew chronicled the making of a sexy bikini calendar.But, according to the Washington Post, team staffers used outtakes to put together a special, secret cut featuring moments when the women inadvertently exposed their nipples in the course of the shoot.

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Boner Candidate #2: WE’RE VERY SORRY. HERE ARE SOME GROCERIES.

Officers with the Metro Nashville Police Department (MNPD) raided the home of Azaria Hines last Tuesday, WSMV reports. The unclothed Hines was asleep on her sofa after a late shift when she heard a banging outside. When she realized the commotion was coming from officers, Hines later said, she asked them to hold on. Her calls were ignored. Body camera footage from the raid shows Hines attempting to ask the officers to wait while they break her door down with a battery ram, which occurred fewer than 30 seconds after they shouted warnings.

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Boner Candidate #3: CRIME DOES NOT PAY

ONTARIO, CANADA – An Elliot Lake man is facing charges after allegedly getting his pickup truck stuck on a logging road, stealing a log skidder to get the truck unstuck, and then accidentally running over his own truck with the aforementioned log skidder. To top it all off, police said he then reported his own truck stolen, possibly in an attempt to hide his theft of the skidder. The bizarre series of events began, East Algoma OPP reported, on Aug. 14 when the detachment received a report of a stolen pickup from the Hat Lake area, located around 65 kilometres north of Elliot Lake.

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