Boners

Boner Fight for December 5th, 2018

BONER CANDIDATE #1: MS. EASTON’S TEACHING METHODS ARE KIND OF WEIRD

A New Mexico teacher lost her job after she allegedly called one Native American student a “bloody Indian” and clipped another’s braid, officials said. The Albuquerque Public School District fired Cibola High School teacher Mary Jane Eastin on Nov. 30, KOB reported. She had been placed on paid leave while the district conducted an investigation. The alleged incident occurred during a language arts class on Halloween. Eastin, who was dressed as the 19th-century voodoo queen Marie Laveau for the holiday, asked student MacKenzie Johnson, “Now what are you supposed to be? A bloody Indian?” MacKenzie, who is Navajo, told KRQE. Johnson was dressed in a Little Red Riding Hood costume and had a bloody paw mark on her face, her mother, Shannon Johnson, told the Albuquerque Journal. The teacher didn’t stop there, MacKenzie said. She told Teen Vogue that Eastin questioned them about a Marie Laveau documentary after showing it to the class. If students got a question correct, she gave them a piece of candy. If they got it wrong, she gave them dog food, which some of the students reportedly ate. At one point, Eastin allegedly approached another Native American student, who wasn’t named, and snipped off the tip of her braid. “My heart stopped, my eyes were huge and … you could hear the whole class gasp,” Mackenzie said. “I didn’t even know if it was real. She’s not even supposed to touch a student, and she cut off [my friend’s] hair … and sprinkled it on the desk.”

BONER CANDIDATE #2: I THOUGHT MY CORNFLAKES TASTED FUNNY

A Tennessee man faces up to three years in prison for urinating on a Kellogg’s cereal conveyor belt at a Memphis facility. News outlets report 49-year-old Gregory Stanton pleaded guilty last month to tampering with consumer products. He was indicted by a grand jury in September. Stanton worked for the plant in 2014 and posted a video online in 2016 of him urinating on the conveyor belt. The video led the company to alert law enforcement and launched an investigation that involved the Food & Drug Administration. It’s unclear what prompted Stanton to urinate on the line or to film and share the act. WREG-TV reports the company and workers union were involved in a labor dispute at the time. Stanton is set to be sentenced in February.

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