Boners

Boner Fight for December 7th, 2020

Boner Candidate #1: WELL, TOM TERRIFIC MUST DESERVE IT

The CARES Act passed by Congress in March included money to help small businesses through the pandemic—including one owned by a certain multimillionaire quarterback. A Paycheck Protection Program loan of $960,855 went to Tom Brady’s TB12, CNBC reports. The same month, Brady agreed to a two-year, $50 million contract with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. In April, the Massachusetts-based company announced it was expanding to Tampa, New York, and Los Angeles. TB12 sells clothing, nutritional supplements, and workout equipment. PPP loans are guaranteed by the Small Business Administration but come from third-party lenders. If the borrower shows that the money helped preserve jobs, the loan can be forgiven, per the Washington Post. There was no indication of the number of TB12 jobs saved by the federal money. PPP checks of at least $150,000 have gone to more than 500 sports companies, per the Sports Business Journal. The Los Angeles Lakers got a $4.6 million loan but sent it back when the federal fund ran dry.

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Boner Candidate #2: THE GOOD LORD IS IN CONTROL

YOUNGSVILLE — The town’s defiant Christmas parade began with whooping police sirens, and state Rep. Lisa Stone Barnes waving to the crowd from the back of a red convertible, wearing gloves but no mask. Behind her, a float carried well-wishers from Wellspring Church, who covered their faces but tossed handfuls of candy to the children on the sidewalk. A truck bearing a Trump flag blew its horn. Unmasked carolers strolled past, singing “Angels We Have Heard on High,” and strumming a guitar. And for 22 minutes, roughly 500 people cheered. “I’m taking the risk,” said Lindsey Newton, a pre-K teacher who lives along the parade route, and who also wore a mask. “It’s tradition. If I could go to every person and say ‘Put your mask on,’ I’d probably get hit in the face. All I can say is the Good Lord’s in control.” Youngsville stood alone in the Triangle area and much of the state, declining to cancel its parade against strong urgings from the Franklin County Health Department. Among the crowd, perhaps half the parade-watchers wore masks, and roughly that many followed safety precautions from the floats. While some kept to tight family clusters and warned of invading bubble space, just as many did not.

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