Boners

Boner Fight for February 20th, 2018

Boner Candidate #1: I ADMIT SHE LOOKS YOUNG.

A teacher at Logan High School was arrested and booked into jail Friday after allegedly having sex with a 15-year-old girl. Weber County sheriff’s deputies caught Joseph Scott Harris, 57, with the teen girl in a parked car in West Haven on Friday, according to a probable cause statement. “The two occupants were in various states of undress,” the document said. At the sheriff’s office, the teen told police she and Harris had engaged in sex acts multiple times since Jan. 3. In his interview, Harris said he’d met the girl online and thought she was 19, but “admitted” the teen “looked young,” the document says. He told police that the two had had sex on three occasions, the document says. Harris was booked into the Weber County jail on suspicion of six counts of unlawful sexual activity with a minor, a third-degree felony. His bail was set at $30,000. He was not listed as an inmate as of Monday. Harris has not been formally charged, and therefore, no court dates have been set.

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Boner Candidate #3: PERHAPS HIS THUMB COULD BE A SOUVENIR FOR CHINA

Some people’s idea of justice is an eye for an eye, but China wants “severe punishment” for a man who stole a clay thumb. Michael Rohana, 24, was charged last week for allegedly breaking a thumb off the left hand of a 2,000-year-old terra-cotta warrior on display at the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia. The incident is said to have occurred in December while he attended the museum’s ugly Christmas sweater party. The FBI said Rohana snuck away from the party and used a cellular telephone as a flashlight to look at exhibits that were displayed in a closed-off showroom. At one point, he stepped up onto a platform supporting one of the statues on display and took a selfie, according to China’s Xinhua News Agency. Security cameras show Rohana putting his hand on the left hand of the statue, and then appearing to break something off from its left hand and put it in his pocket before leaving the room, according to an arrest affidavit. The museum goer allegedly took the clay digit to his home in Bear, Delaware, as a souvenir. He is now accused of theft of an artwork from a museum, concealment of the artwork and interstate transportation of stolen property, according to The New York Times.

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