Boners

Boner Fight for January 23rd, 2018

Boner Candidate #3: WELL I CAN’T TAKE THE BABY WITH ME WHEN I’M STEALING CAN I?

Just when I think Florida can’t surprise me anymore it pulls this out of its hat. Let’s all talk about a 30-year-old woman named Sarah Jean Wilmoth. Wilmoth decided that she didn’t want to purchase things anymore. So what did she do? She entered a Publix and began to shoplift. But this is a story worth writing because Wilmoth is a mother, and this mother left her infant in the car for more than an hour while she shoplifted. Deputies were called to Publix, 4145 Ninth St. S.W., about 4:30 p.m. Saturday by bystanders who saw an infant alone in a car crying hysterically. They had parked near the car and told investigators the child was inside alone when they arrived and after they finished a 45-minute shopping trip. Deputies determined the child had been there for more than an hour, according to the affidavit. Wilmoth was located and arrested inside the supermarket as Indian River County Fire Rescue workers tended to the child, who was unharmed. She said she left the boy in the car because he was sleeping at the time, the affidavit said. When Wilmoth was searched, deputies found a plastic bag containing a crack pipe and methamphetamine laced with cocaine, according to the arrest affidavit.In Wilmoth’s bra were several toiletries worth about $35 that she admitted stealing from Publix while inside, the affidavit said.

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Boner Candidate #1: BEE KILLERS!

Two boys are facing felony charges after vandalism at an Iowa honey farm killed 500,000 bees, according to police. Police say the boys, ages 12 and 13, wrecked equipment and knocked over 50 hives at the Wild Hill Honey farm in Sioux City last month. All of the bees — at least half a million — died in the snow. Owners Justin and Tori Englehardt found the dead bees when they went to clear snow off the hives on their 18-acre property. “We found complete destruction of our hives and supply shed,” they wrote on their Facebook page. “They knocked over every single hive, killing all the bees. They wiped us out completely,” Justin Engelhardt told The Sioux City Journal. “They broke into our shed, they took all our equipment out and threw it out in the snow, smashed what they could. Doesn’t look like anything was stolen; everything was just vandalized or destroyed. He called the crime “completely senseless.” The loss was estimated at $60,000. The devastation was so complete that the couple feared they couldn’t afford to revive the six-year-old operation. 

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