Boners

Boner Fight for January 30th, 2018

Boner Candidate #1: I AM TIRED OF TAKING CARE OF YOU

A Florida man accused of beating his disabled girlfriend told police he was tired of taking care of her and preferred to go to jail, according to an arrest report. Patrick Moan, 37, was arrested Sunday for beating the woman, who has no arms or legs, the Miami Herald reported. The woman, who is in a wheelchair, was unable to call the cops on her live-in boyfriend because he broke her phone two weeks ago. So Moan agreed to wheel her to a Vero Beach Walmart so she could tell someone. Moan ended up telling a patron himself in the hopes he “could go to jail.” The woman told police that Moan hits her two times a month when he drinks but she has not called cops because of her condition. Moan later admitted to authorities that he has hit the woman in the past because he is “tired of taking care of her and pushing her in her wheelchair everywhere.” He also believed if he confessed “he would no longer have to take care of her and she would become the state’s problem.”

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Boner Candidate #2: I THINK YOU’RE ONE OF THEM ILLEGALS AND SHOULD GET OUT OF THE COUNTRY.

Supporters of President Donald Trump used racist language against dark-skinned public servants while rallying against immigration, the Arizona Capitol Times reported Saturday. “Supporters of President Donald Trump singled out dark-skinned lawmakers, legislative staffers and children at the Capitol on Jan. 25 as they protested congressional efforts to pass immigration reform, according to staffers of the Arizona Legislature and two Democratic legislators, AZ Capitol Times reported. “Waving large flags in support of Trump while standing between the House and Senate buildings, the protesters, who were also armed, asked just about anyone who crossed their path if they ‘support illegal immigration.’” One dark-skinned Arizonian who was asked if he was in the country “illegally” was Rep. Eric Descheenie (D-Chinle). Rep. Descheenie is a Navajo lawmaker. “I’m indigenous to these lands,” Rep. Descheenie said. “My ancestors fought and died on these lands. I just told them, ‘Don’t ask me that question.’” Legislative staffers Lisette Flores and Selianna Robles had gone to a local farmers’ market for lunch and were also accosted.

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