Boners

Boner Fight for July 10th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDANCE IS TRASH

NPR tweeted the entire Declaration of Independence in 140-character chunks yesterday to celebrate Independence Day. But more than a few people thought that the tweets were a political stance against Donald Trump. Seriously. The Declaration of Independence is one of the most cherished documents in the United States. We even make movies about it like it’s the Ark of the Covenant. But some Trump supporters were a bit confused yesterday, and saw phrases like “unworthy the Head of a civilized nation” as biased. They assumed that NPR was blasting the current president rather than King George in 1776. NPR has been reading the Declaration of Independence on air in a tradition that dates back 29 years. And in fairness, the Declaration of Independence is a pretty anti-authoritarian document. So it makes sense that people might believe that it’s a statement against all tyrants. But you’d think that people who want to “make America great again” might recognize the words of the Declaration of Independence. I guess not. The line about the right of the people to abolish the current government and form a new one struck a chord with some Trump enthusiasts. And some people were particularly offended by the line about King George being an “unworthy” leader of a civilized nation, believing that perhaps NPR was talking about a different tyrant: Some Trump supporters even called the Declaration of Independence “trash”

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Boner Candidate #2: WOMEN ARE TO BLAME FOR PEDOPHILIA IN THE CATHOLIC CLERGY

One of the Catholic Church’s high-ranking clerics has spoken out about the problems facing Catholicism today, and in particular, the epidemic of pedophilia, claiming that women are the root cause. According to Pope Francis’s former competitor for the role of the Vatican’s leader, Cardinal Raymond Burke, the rampant crisis of pedophile priests was brought on by women who “feminized” the church and discouraged “manly” men from participating in clerical life. Serving mass is a “manly” job argues the Irish American Cardinal, as he claims that the participation of women and girls into the daily life of the church has a chilling effect on priests, causing them to turn to “immoral and unpriestly vocations” such as “abusing minors”. Speaking to a group called The New Emangelization, Burke claims that introducing altar girls changes the dynamic between priests and altar boys

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