Boners

Boner Fight for July 13th, 2017

BONER CANDIDATE #1: THE CURE FOR ALL ILLS IS SIMPLE.

Religious Right activist and former Colorado state legislator Gordon Klingenschmitt declared on his “Pray In Jesus Name” program last week that Americans would not need healthcare if this nation would simply stop funding Planned Parenthood because, if we do so, “God will heal your diseases.” After declaring that Democrats and Republicans in Congress who are fighting to retain government support for Planned Parenthood “are being influenced by a demonic spirit because they want to kill children with your taxpayer dollars,” “You know what the solution to America’s healthcare crisis is?” Klingenschmitt asked. “Obey the Ten Commandments, stop funding abortion, stop funding child killing and God will heal your diseases, America. The supernatural blessing of healing is available if we stop working with the demonic spirit of murder.”

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BONER CANDIDATE #2: HEY,WHY ARE YOU HITTIN’ YOURSELF?

Don’t you just hate it when you’re fighting yourself and you break your own leg? Yeah, we do too.  But someone who hates it a little bit more is Ryan Rowlands from South Wales – mainly because it actually happened to him. Yes, the 24-year-old was filmed by a friend as he shadowboxed in the middle of the street. After throwing a few punches, he attempted to up the ante and perform a spinning kick. Needless to say, it didn’t go to plan. The young man ended up landing on his knee as the rest of his leg broke against the road.

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