Boners

Boner Fight for June 9th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: GOD DOESN’T LIKE WOMEN WITH SHORT HAIR.

Last weekend at EQUIP 2017, a Christian conference for women in Sydney, Australia, a speech that was ostensibly about holiness went far off the track. Rather than talk about the power of prayer, the need to read the Bible more, or asking what Jesus would do, speaker Carmelina Read asked women with short hair to reconsider their life choices. During a talk about the meaning of Bible verses on male headship — where men are leaders in the home and the church — an image of newly-shorn actress Kristen Stewart flashed onto an overhead screen. Was this platinum blonde buzz cut, asked the speaker, Carmelina Read, appropriate for a woman? Was it feminine and submissive, or instead flagging independence and rebellion?

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Boner Candidate #2: SLEEPWALKING MADE ME DO IT.

A Manhattan man stumbled into his roommate’s bedroom and molested his sleeping bikini-model girlfriend — but it wasn’t his fault because he was sleepwalking, defense lawyers argued in his misdemeanor sex abuse trial Wednesday. It was supposed to be a romantic vacation in New York for the girlfriend until she awoke to find her boyfriend’s roommate Nick Liu, 27, on top of her, the woman, whose name is being withheld, told jurors. Shane Payne had flown his girlfriend in from Florida Sept. 11, 2015, and after the couple tossed back a few drinks at the Lower East Side bar Libation, they returned to his Stuy Town apartment and had sex, he told jurors.

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