Boner Candidate #1: I’M TELLING YOU….TENTACLE PORN IS REAL! IT IS!
A senior writer for Newsweek who accidentally revealed he was scouring Japanese animated pornography claims he was merely searching online with his adult sons to prove to his wife that “tentacle porn” was real. Kurt Eichenwald, who is also a contributing editor at Vanity Fair, posted an image of an anti-Semitic flyer on Twitter on Wednesday after he “mean-tweeted” Fox News host Tucker Carlson earlier in the day, attacking his ratings. But when Eichenwald tweeted an image of the flyer to prove its authenticity, he also exposed his apparent interest in hypersexualized anime. “Sigh,” Eichenwald tweeted Thursday to explain the gaffe. “Ok, I’m a dumbass. Believe it or not, my kids & I were trying to convince my wife that ‘tentacle porn’ existed. I tried to find some to show her it was real. But I couldn’t find any — & ended up w/ this. My family reads my twitter feed, so they know this is true.”
Boner Candidate #2: ONIONS! ONIONS! ONIONS!
A Michigan man, apparently upset because his food included onions, is jailed on charges he made drunken threats to shoot the owner of a Pittsburgh restaurant before exposing himself. Forty-three-year-old Yuba Sharma, of Rochester, remained in the Allegheny County Jail on Thursday on charges of terroristic threats, indecent exposure, public drunkenness and resisting arrest. Police say Sharma ate at All Indiana restaurant on Monday night and then returned Tuesday to rant and complain about the onions.
Boner Candidate #3: SLEEPWALKING MADE ME DO IT.
A Manhattan man stumbled into his roommate’s bedroom and molested his sleeping bikini-model girlfriend — but it wasn’t his fault because he was sleepwalking, defense lawyers argued in his misdemeanor sex abuse trial Wednesday. It was supposed to be a romantic vacation in New York for the girlfriend until she awoke to find her boyfriend’s roommate Nick Liu, 27, on top of her, the woman, whose name is being withheld, told jurors. Shane Payne had flown his girlfriend in from Florida Sept. 11, 2015, and after the couple tossed back a few drinks at the Lower East Side bar Libation, they returned to his Stuy Town apartment and had sex, he told jurors.
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