Boners

Boner (Round One) for June 12th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: A FRIEND SENT ME THAT STUFF

A Democratic lawmaker in Rhode Island says all those pornographic browser tabs aren’t his. Ramon Perez, who was elected to the state’s House of Representatives last year, distributed a printout of a Wikipedia article during testimony last week. However, the file was actually a screenshot which showed not only the article but also numerous browser tabs open to pages with explicit titles. Two contained the word “teen” while one had the word “young.” The screenshot only showed the titles of the other pages that were open, not pornographic images or videos.

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Boner Candidate #2: NOT ONLY DID HE CRASH, HE STOLE A FIRE HYDRANT

New Jersey authorities say a driver fled the scene of an accident with a fire hydrant stuck to his car and then tossed it in the trash. Parsippany police say the motorist drove off after his car struck the hydrant and a mailbox Tuesday. Police followed a trail of water from the scene to a township home, where they found the car and the hydrant. The driver was found in a nearby diner. Police say 27-year-old township resident Domingo Moreno has been charged with criminal mischief, hindering apprehension and tampering with evidence, and was turned over to federal immigration officials. It wasn’t known Saturday if he’s retained an attorney. Police are investigating the cause and other details of the crash.

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Boner Candidate #3: A FLORIDA MAN, FOR SURE

Earlier this week, an anonymous Imgur user posted a GIF of a navy-blue pickup truck towing a boat on a random highway while the boat spit gigantic flames behind him. A Redditor who goes by iBleedOrange then spotted the clip on the website and posted it to Reddit’s r/WTF forum, where the clip then blew up, no pun intended. It’s unclear how old the footage might be, but the GIF was posted online only four days ago. (Redditor iBleedOrange told New Times via direct message that he had no idea who posted the clip originally.) The only thing more astounding than the clip might be what happened next: A group of Redditors used Google Maps to pinpoint the location where the footage was taken. Naturally, it was Miami-Dade. The clip was filmed directly across the street from Jorge Mas Canosa Middle School on Newton Road in far Southwest Miami-Dade County.

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