Boner of the Day

Boner Fight for March 21st, 2018

BONER CANDIDATE #1: HE IS SINCERE AND REMORSEFUL

OSWEGO, N.Y. — A New York man has admitted striking a 10-year-old girl with a screwdriver, dragging her behind a vehicle with a rope and forcing hot sauce into her duct tape-covered mouth. Shawn Whaley, 24, pleaded guilty to 13 charges on Monday in Oswego County including assault, unlawful imprisonment, tampering with physical evidence, coercion and endangering the welfare of a child, according to The Post-Standard. Defense lawyer Sal Lanza said Whaley was “sincere” and “remorseful.” Besides serving a two and one-third to seven year prison sentence, Whaley also will receive three years of post -release supervision, Lanza said. Sentencing is scheduled for May 29.

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BONER CANDIDATE #2: MY FRUGAL WIFE CANDY WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT

After reports surfaced earlier this month that Housing and Urban Development Secretary Ben Carson spent $31,000 of taxpayer funds on a dining set for his government office, the former Republican presidential candidate said he was “as surprised as anyone to find out” about the lavish purchase. That’s because Carson’s wife was responsible for the decision, the secretary said at a congressional hearing on Tuesday. After staffers gave Carson a few options for tables, the secretary said he “left it with [his] wife” and asked her to “help choose something.” “The next thing that I, quite frankly, heard about it was that this $31,000 table had been bought,” he told a House Appropriations subcommittee. “I said, ‘What the heck is that all about?’ I investigated, I immediately had it canceled. Not that we don’t need the furniture, but I thought that that was excessive.”

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