Boners

Boner Fight for November 16th, 2020

Boner Candidate #1: TAKE A KNEE FOR KING HERBERT

A handful of Utah businesses are already bridling against Gov. Gary Herbert’s mandate that employees wear masks in the workplace — and regulators say they’ve received dozens of complaints that companies are flouting the rules. Some of these business owners compare Herbert’s requirement on face coverings to an edict by a tyrannical king and contend that customers and staff should be free to choose what they wear. But as pressure builds inside Utah’s already-strained hospitals and COVID-19 infections continue to tear through the state, health experts and officials are pleading with residents not to respond to mask-wearing orders with defiance. “In such a compassionate, family-centered state, it’s unfortunate that people really don’t seem to care that what they do is negatively impacting their neighbors,” Maryann Martindale, executive director of the Utah Academy of Family Physicians, said. “It feels contrary to Utah values.”

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Boner Candidate #2: GOD YOU PEOPLE ARE AWFUL

A special meeting of the Orem City Council unanimously passed an ordinance on Friday making it illegal to target someone’s home during a demonstration. This, after protesters targeted the private home of Governor Gary Herbert following a statewide mask mandate announced last week. The ordinance says, in part, “The public health and welfare and the good order of the community require that citizens enjoy in their homes and neighborhoods a feeling of well-being, tranquility, and privacy, and enjoy freedom from being a captive audience to unwanted speech in their homes.” Protests must be at least 100 feet away from the property line of any residence. Any violation of the ordinance is a Class B Misdemeanor.

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