Boners

Boner Fight for October 24th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: I PAY WITH HUGS AND KISSES!

A British soldier who unsuccessfully tried to murder his army officer wife — by sabotaging her parachute during a 4,000ft jump — was swapping messages with his mistress while his spouse was in surgery, prosecutors said Monday. “Will you be my cleaner? I only like nude house cleaners. I pay with hugs and kisses,” Sgt. Emile Cilliers told his lover, Stefanie Goller, as his wife was fighting to survive. “Haha, I like naked cooking ; ),” he added, according to prosecutors. The messages — sent through the WhatsApp service — were read to jurors on Monday, the BBC reports.

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Boner Candidate #2: DEAD BABY FUNERAL SCAM.

Two heartless hoaxers who begged for money to fund a dead baby’s funeral were just running a scam for quick cash, authorities said. Chastity Doll, 26, and Michele Love, 41, were arrested Sunday for panhandling using signs with photos of a 5-month-old baby girl in San Bernardino, California, according to the San Bernardino Sun. Detectives, however, determined that the signs that read “RIP” and “Burial Donations” were simply a ploy. The baby shown in the photos does not belong to either of the suspects, according to the San Bernardino Sheriff’s Office. “This was done under false pretense and there were no burial funds needed,” deputies said in a press release.

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