Boner Candidate #1: TALLY HO, DUDE; SOME HELP PLEASE.
A group “incapable of walking” after smoking cannabis had to be rescued from England’s highest mountain, police say. The four climbers sparked a three-hour mountain rescue operation after getting stuck on Scafell Pike in Cumbria’s Lake District yesterday afternoon. Cumbria Police said “words fail us” after mountain rescue, air support and ambulance crews had to be dispatched to the 978 metre (3,209 ft) peak when the walkers got a lot higher than they expected. Police received an emergency call from the “incapacitated” group who said they were stuck on the mountain after taking the Class B drug.
Boner Candidate #2: I HAD TO GET SOME CASH FOR A BUCKET OF EXTRA CRISPY.
When officers arrived, they found him at the KFC with the bag of money, and he told police he had robbed the bank. Police arrested a Gainesville man Thursday at a KFC after they say he stole more than $10,000 from a Wells Fargo bank. Samuel Jevon Reaves, 32, entered the Wells Fargo bank, at 3939 NW 13th St., and told a teller he needed money, according to a Gainesville Police Department report. The teller asked if he had a debit card, and Reaves responded, “This is a robbery. Give me all your money in the bank.” The teller gave Reaves money that was in her drawer and asked if he wanted a bag. Reaves said yes and thanked the teller.
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