ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: WILD PEEING
NETHERLANDS — The capital of the Netherlands has installed hemp-filled urinals in public outdoor locations around the city as a means of combating the longtime problem of “wild peeing.” Dutch company Urban Senses installed 12 GreenPee urinals in locations around Amsterdam that were identified by local officials as hotspots for public urination. Richard de Vries, inventor of the GreenPee urinals, said the city initially installed four of the urinals in 2018, and they have now added eight more after determining the pilot program was a success. “The result was there was a 50% reduction in wild peeing,” De Vries told CNN of the initial toilet installation. “It was a great success.” The GreenPee urinals resemble planters and are filled with hemp. De Vries said the urinals offer a sustainable alternative to traditional public urinals, as they use less water and create green spaces for bees and other insects. The urinals produce organic fertilizer and water for the plants, the inventor said. He said the benefits of the GreenPees also include reducing erosion on historic buildings often targeted by public urination and could even save lives, as several young men die each year by falling into canals at night while looking for a place to urinate. The city of Amsterdam said officials are considering future research into whether the urinals could be made usable by women.
Boner Candidate #2: I NEED $30 FOR THAT BAIL MONEY!
Clearwater, FL — Police said a Florida man stole lottery tickets from a store, and then returned to the same store to try to cash a winning ticket. Clearwater police arrested 27-year-old Herbert McClellan, Fox 13 reports. According to police, McClellan stole 13 scratch-off tickets from a convenience store and immediately tried to see if any of the tickets were winners. Officers said when one of the tickets turned out to be worth $30, McClellan returned to the same store where the ticket was stolen and tried to cash it in. Staff called police and McClellan was arrested. According to Fox 13, McClellan was charged with petit theft and dealing in stolen property. He is being held on $12,000 bond.
Boner Candidate #3: CHRIS CORNELL WAS NOT A CONFEDERATE GENERAL!
The Seattle statue memorializing Chris Cornell has been vandalized. The late Soundgarden frontman’s widow Vicky Cornell shared a photo on her Instagram of the defaced statue, which appears to be covered in white paint. In the caption, she writes that she and her children are “heartbroken” over the vandalism. “The statue is not only art, but a tribute to Chris, his incomparable musical legacy and everything that he stood for,” Vicky says. “It represents Chris, who is beloved not only in Seattle, but worldwide.” Vicky writes that the vandalism was not part of the ongoing protests in Seattle against racism and police brutality, but was “carried out by a single disturbed individual at 6am in an attempt to besmirch Chris’ legacy.” “I’m so grateful to the fans who stood up to support and showed such immense love,” Vicky writes. “After hearing about it, they made their way there in the middle of the night with supplies and tried to clean it up.” “The statue will be restored,” she adds. “Hate will not win.”
[polldaddy poll=10598087]
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: HEY TRISTAN, KNOCK IT OFF
NBA star Tristan Thompson may be back in the good graces of Khloé Kardashian, but he’s royally pissing off his neighbors by allegedly throwing a huge house party … in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic! Thompson was called out Saturday evening by a neighbor on his block who posted video of a huge collection of cars clogging up the street and let Mr. Khloé Kardashian know that he’s putting his 2-year-old daughter, True Thompson, at risk by hosting a mass gathering. The Cleveland Cavaliers pro baller was called out on Saturday evening by his Los Angeles-area neighbor, who also has a bit of fame. Playboy model Daisy Jean took to her Instagram stories and called out Thompson for hosting the irresponsible soirée. “Kardashian baby daddy being loud & throwing a party during a pandemic on my street,” the model wrote to her 26,000 followers while including a puking emoji. The video shows the street lined with cars and also appears to show a police cruiser rolling by the event. It’s unclear if cops ended up busting up the party. 21-year-old Daisy Jean, who is known for her retro vibes and eye-popping curves, also called out Tristan Thompson for his actions because of his daughter with Khloé.
Boner Candidate #2: BRITAIN’S WACKIEST TAXIDERMIST
Britain’s wackiest taxidermist has created a solution for loved ones who want to embrace while social distancing – a ‘high-five machine’ made out of rats legs. Eccentric Jack Devaney has spent more than two years building up a catalog of unusual creations that already include a rabbit toaster, a rat pencil case and magnetic mice. He has now unveiled his latest work – “Pawtable High Five Machines” – made using limbs from rodents below the knee to the tip of the toe. His inspiration came from wanting to help people who like to celebrate and greet each other with a “high five” but are concerned about doing so during coronavirus. Devaney, 26, of Plymouth, Devon, England said: “They’re called “Pawtable High Five Machines” and are made out of rat legs. “I know that some people still aren’t socializing and I understand that some people like to celebrate with a high five and they’re at a disadvantage right now. “So, if they buy one of these for themselves and a friend they regularly high five they can simulate doing so with a tiny little rat paw. “It’s just something new for people to try and to give people a laugh.” Devaney said as soon as he listed his latest items they were being snapped up.
Boner Candidate #3: TIGER GARBAGE PERSON
Zookeeper Jeff Lowe is facing possible civil penalties for alleged willful animal welfare violations at the roadside park made famous by the hit Netflix documentary series, “Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem and Madness.” The allegations number in the dozens and date from 2017. Among the most serious are claims animals repeatedly did not get proper veterinary care at the Greater Wynnewood Exotic Animal Park and vet records were falsified to cover up the neglect. In one incident, a federal inspector in June ordered the park to get immediate help for “Nala,” a 16-week-old lion cub described as lethargic, depressed and thin, unable to get out of the mud even when prompted and breathing rapidly and shallowly. A top official at the U.S. Department of Agriculture last week filed a complaint outlining the allegations. In a Facebook post, Lowe called the allegations “a litany of falsehoods.”
[polldaddy poll=10598089]
