Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for February 12th, 2020

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: HOOKERS FOR JESUS

There has never been a better time to be a Hooker for Jesus. Under Attorney General Bill Barr’s management, it appears no corner of the Justice Department can escape perversion — even the annual grants the Justice Department gives to nonprofits and local governments to help victims of human trafficking. In a new grant award, senior Justice officials rejected the recommendations of career officials and decided to deny grants to highly rated Catholic Charities in Palm Beach, Fla., and Chicanos Por La Causa in Phoenix. Instead, Reuters reported, they gave more than $1 million combined to lower-rated groups called the Lincoln Tubman Foundation and Hookers for Jesus. Why? Well, it turns out the head of the Catholic Charities affiliate had been active with Democrats and the Phoenix group had opposed President Trump’s immigration policies. By contrast, Hookers for Jesus is run by a Christian conservative and the Lincoln Tubman group was launched by a relative of a Trump delegate to the 2016 convention. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: HE’S A VERY WELL ORGANIZED BURGLER

Authorities in Tennessee say they busted a well-organized burglar after he allegedly dropped a notebook during a break-in that contained a list of other places he planned to target. Robert Shull Goddard, 49, is accused of smashing a glass door and breaking into a Nashville area home on Jan. 29, stealing a TV and a gun from the residents, according to records filed in Davidson County court. But prosecutors said Goddard left something behind that allowed authorities to solve the case — a notebook that listed multiple addresses, including one for another home a few miles away that had been burglarized that same day, The Tennessean reported. Investigators were able to identify the suspect, in part, through notes his daughter left in the journal, along with her address. Goddard was caught on video kicking in the back door of another house the next day, court records state. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: PUPPY MONEY RIGHT DOWN THE DRAIN

To avoid online scammers, some consumers will choose to do business using big, well-known companies. But the call came to Get Gephardt from a West Valley City woman when she ended up ripped off anyway. Beth Krommenhoek’s family was ready to go. They had everything they needed to replace their family pet, a Samoyed who had recently died at age 14.
“We sure loved Maya, our dog that passed,” she said. They found a Samoyed puppy online which could be shipped within a week from Dallas to Utah. Still, Krommenhoek said she was suspicious because it’s a pretty common scam for a seller to convince a buyer to send money for a product but then never sends the product. To protect herself, Krommenhoek decided she’d use the money-pay services of one of the biggest companies in the world. “I paid through Google Pay,” she said. Krommenhoek’s $1,400, but you guessed it, no dog. Read More

ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: HIKING TRAIL CREEPER

A report was filed to Sandy Police on Saturday accusing an older man of taking unwanted photographs of a woman who was hiking in Bell Canyon. “A man was in the area taking pictures of females for an unknown reason,” said Sgt. Jason Nielsen of the Sandy Police Department. “I haven’t seen this very often, at least in our area.” The original accusation was posted on a neighborhood app. “I noticed his hand on his camera at his hip pointed directly at my girlfriend and I heard a very faint sound of multiple shutters going off,” the post read. “He had 10+ photos of my girlfriends front and backside on his camera.” Police told FOX 13 they typically don’t get these kind of reports coming from the Bell Canyon area. “It’s a pretty popular destination for hiking and everything else up in that area,” Sgt. Nielsen said. Sandy Police implemented two dedicated officers to patrol city parks and green spaces in late 2019. When FOX 13 was at the Granite trail head at the base of Little Cottonwood Canyon, a Sandy patrol officer was seen surveying the area. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: HE KNEW RIGHT WHERE TO GO AND HOW TO DO IT

A man who helped install a safe inside a Garden City home is now charged with helping to steal it along with about $50,000 inside, according to police. Jesse James Carlton, 32, of Dingle, Idaho; Gage Shayne Ewing, 24, of Smithfield; and Kaden Jade Bingham, 23, of Richmond, were each charged Monday in 1st District Court with aggravated burglary, a first-degree felony, and theft, a second-degree felony. Over the weekend, someone broke into a residence at 550 W. Highway 89 in Garden City by “creating a large hole in the back of her closet which shares a wall with an adjacent storage warehouse,” according to charging documents. A safe containing $50,000, several boxes of ammunition, four Harley Davidson shirts, a Harley Davidson jacket, two rings, and several documents including social security cards, birth certificates, credit cards and vehicle titles were stolen, the charges state. The homeowner told detectives that Carlton had installed the safe in August. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: IT AIN’T GOOD FOR THE SOUND OF IT WHEN YOU DROP A PIANO

The world-famous pianist from Ontario says her US$194,000 piano was destroyed in a moving accident, which happened last week following a recording session in Europe. “When I was so happy with the results and feeling elated, the piano movers came into the control room … to say they had dropped my precious Fazioli concert grand piano,” she wrote in a lengthy Facebook post on Sunday. Hewitt added that the accident occurred in late January, but she was so shocked that it took her 10 days to finally report the incident to her fans. “I couldn’t believe it,” she said. “The iron frame is broken, as well as much else in the structure and action (not to mention the lid and other parts of the case),” she wrote. The movers dropped the 590-kilogram instrument while trying to place it on a trolley, The Guardian reports. The instrument split in two due to the force of the fall. “It was in top form,” Hewitt said. “Now it is no longer.” Read More


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