ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: EVERYBODY KNOWS….YA DRILL A HOLE IN THE ICE AND THE WHORES SHOW UP.
Ohio mayor Craig Shubert has resigned after he made a statement that implied allowing ice fishing would lead to a problem with prostitution.
Boner Candidate #2: THE SELLER AND THE BUYERS ARE OUR BONER CANDIDATES TODAY.
A woman from the UK shared in a TikTok video that she has made over $13,000 selling her breastmilk, or “liquid gold”, to weightlifters and bodybuilders.
Boner Candidate #3: DEPLOY THE SELTZER SQUAD.
A new proposal is aiming to take hard seltzers that are flavored with ethyl alcohol off grocery store shelves because the flavoring adds a small amount to the alcohol content of the beverage.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: WHEN YOU ALLOW A SHED TO BE BUILT IN YOUR YARD YOU ARE PRACTICALLY FORCING YOUR HUSBAND TO CHEAT ON YOU.
A woman in Provo was arrested after she set fire to a shed that she said her husband and another woman were “cohabitating” inside.
Boner Candidate #2: WHAT ANOMALIES PHIL? COME ON, SHOW US SOME PROOF.
Rep. Phil Lyman is proposing legislation that would get rid of the mail-in voting system and would also require independent audits of each election with photographic results posted for the public to see.
Boner Candidate #3: DON’T USE THE SAME LAPTOP YOU HAVE AT HOME FOR YOUR WORK.
A teacher at a Massachusetts high school has been placed on leave after their laptop was plugged in and pornographic images were displayed in front of a class.
