Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for February 4th, 2020

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: HELMET HAIR

If you’re one of the many people who watch the Super Bowl for the commercials, you got yourself a bonanza last night. From Bill Murray returning to Groundhog Day once again to a Pringles ad featuring Rick and Morty, there was a lot for the pop culture lovers out there to enjoy. But for the LGBTQ community, there was one particular standout that had the dual effect of breaking ground for representation and bumming out a lot of uptight conservatives — the Sabra Hummus commercial featuring Miz Cracker and Kim Chi from RuPaul’s Drag Race. In a pre-released teaser, the two shared some hummus-related puns and joked about football helmets giving them helmet hair. It all seemed pretty cute and entertaining, certainly not anything for anyone to freak out about. But of course, the freakouts happened regardless. “An ad promoting drag queens is not what we had in mind when urging the NFL to keep the Super Bowl LIV commercials and halftime entertainment family-friendly,” declared One Million Moms, the conservative group we last heard from when they flipped out about Hallmark’s adorable ad featuring a lesbian wedding. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: SINNER, MURDERER

Provo, Utah — (KUTV) State Senate candidate Jason Christensen says he overcame suicidal thoughts with the help of God. That is why he now claims his remarks that called a teen suicide victim a ‘sinner’ and a ‘murderer’ were out of love for the boy and his family. “I apologize for my tact,” Christensen said. Christensen, who is part of the Independent American Party, sympathized with victims of suicide and their families, but did not back down on the content of his comments. “Taking a life is murder, any way you look at it,” Christensen said. He slammed what he called the ‘LGBT’ agenda during an interview with 2News Friday morning. He said since his comments went viral, he has been the subject of death threats and online hacks — but has also received messages of support from sympathizers. “It has been very heart touching as well, to help carry me through this with the fiery darts of the adversary,” Christensen said. Christensen’s comment outraged many people who read it, including Provo business owner Ryan Taylor. “If he’s about families, then support families that have kids who commit suicide,” Taylor said. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: WHEN YOU GOTTA GO, YA GOTTA GO.

The Michigan State University student was arrested early Saturday morning on two battery counts after allegedly urinating off the balcony of a Florida bar and striking two women below “in the face, mouth, head, hands, and arms.” The 20-year-old DeBrabander, cops say, was intoxicated when he “stepped to the railing” of a balcony above the Yard of Ale bar in St. Petersburg around 12:25 AM. He then “removed his penis from his pants, and proceeded to urinate on” the two victims, who were seated downstairs on a sidewalk bench. Each of the women, criminal complaints state, was “struck in the face, mouth, head, hands, and arms” with DeBrabander’s urine when they looked up to see what was hitting them. Court filings do not indicate whether either victim needed medical attention. DeBrabander, cops noted, was “found to be intoxicated and was uncooperative with questioning.” He was booked into the county jail on the misdemeanor raps, and was subsequently freed from custody after posting $1000 bond. Read More

ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: YOU DON’T HAVE A JOB, YOU HAVE A HOBBY.

A Utah lawmaker was broadly criticized this weekend after tweeting: “A person working at a job that does not pay a livable wage really only has a hobby.” State Sen. Lyle Hillyard, R-Logan, said he intended to highlight the availability of training options for higher-paying jobs. But the tweet was quickly “ratioed” — that is, responding comments far outnumbered “likes” and retweets. And the reactions were not positive. Images of Marie Antoinette, a guillotine and Rich Uncle Pennybags from the board game Monopoly quickly appeared in the roughly 200 replies that piled up after Friday’s tweet. “All I can say is that I know several people with 2 or 3 ‘hobbies,’ Senator,” tweeted Jeffrey Merchant, chairman of the Utah Democratic Party. “Senator, be careful what you reveal,” warned state Rep. Brian King, D-Salt Lake City, with a GIF of Rich Uncle Pennybags waving his cane. “A hobby implies pleasure and diversion. Not the yoke of obligation that, while underpaid, is imperative to put food on the table,” wrote Los Angeles attorney Jane Shay Wald. “This is incredibly disrespectful of hardworking Utahns. … I worked 60-hour weeks as a child care provider for six years,” tweeted Murray City Councilwoman Kat Martinez. “I guess it was just my hobby.” Read More

Boner Candidate #2: I TOLD YOU NO TONGUE.

Youlette Wedgeworth (Macomb County Sheriff’s Office) A Detroit woman is charged with aggravated assault for biting off a man’s tongue during a kiss because he wouldn’t stop using it.
Youlette Wedgeworth, 52, was arrested after biting off the tip of her friend’s tongue last week, police told WXYZ-TV. “Police arrived at the scene and found the victim bleeding from his mouth and missing a one-inch piece of his tongue,” WXYZ reported. “They were able to find it in the bedroom of his apartment.” The man was taken to the hospital and is recovering and Wedgeworth was arrested, arraigned and given a $25,000 cash bond, the station said. “I believe this is the first case of this nature in my 27 years in the prosecutor’s office,” Macomb County Prosecutor Eric Smith said, according to CNN. Wedgeworth’s pretrial conference is set for Feb. 19, The Detroit News reported. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: OH FRANKLIN, YOU ARE SUCH A HYPOCRITE.

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Evangelist Franklin Graham took to his Facebook page late Sunday evening to criticize the Super Bowl halftime show, which featured both Shakira and Jennifer Lopez as its two main performers. Shakira kicked off the festivities in a red sequined outfit surrounded by matching dancers. The 43-year-old singer started the night with a medley of her best songs, including “She Wolf,” “Whenever, Wherever” and “Hips Don’t Lie.” She was joined by Bad Bunny for a cover of Cardi B’s “I Like It” Lopez followed Shakira’s performance with a rendition of her classic “Jenny From The Block” before launching into a mix that included “Ain’t It Funny,” “Waiting for Tonight” and “On the Floor.” J Balvin joined the 50-year-old for a rendition of “Mi Gente.” The singer had two outfits, one black leather, and one silver beaded. Lopez also showed off her “Hustlers” pole dance moves. A lot of people took to social media to praise the performance, stating it was a wonderful night for Latina women. But there was also a lot of criticism online saying the show was to “sexualized.” One of those who openly criticized the show was Franklin Graham.
Graham said the Pepsi Super Bowl Halftime Show “was showing young girls that sexual exploitation of women is okay.” “I don’t expect the world to act like the church, but our country has had a sense of moral decency on prime time television in order to protect children. We see that disappearing before our eyes,” Graham said about the halftime show. Read More


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