Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for January 27th, 2020

ROUND ONE

BONER CANDIDATE #1: I KNOW WHO DID IT

State Police have arrested a Mayfield woman, after detectives say she made dozens of false anonymous tips about herself over several months.  According to Kentucky State Police, KSP Post 1 had been getting numerous tips over the past four months through the Kentucky State Police Text A Tip line advising that 20-year-old Keely Bennett was either armed or dangerous, using and/or selling drugs, or a danger to herself or others.  Troopers said their investigation ultimately showed Bennett was the one reporting the tips.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2: I DESERVE THE MONEY

Trustees in Dixmoor claim Mayor Yvonne Davis has been taking a much larger salary from the village than she’s supposed to get.  “My message for the mayor is to pay all the funds back that you have taken from this village,” village trustee Fitzgerald Roberts said.  Dixmoor Village trustees Roberts and Judnita Smith say records show Mayor Davis received more than double her monthly salary for two years.  From June 2017 to August 2019, the part-time mayor collected close to $120,000 in compensation when she should have received about $55,000.  The trustees say she was overpaid nearly $64,000 and has not paid it back.  “We are responsible for Dixmoor residents’ funds.  They entrusted us,” Smith said.  Roberts and Smith said the overpayments came to light after they were blocked from obtaining village documents and were forced to submit a Freedom of Information Act request.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #3: WE ARE NOT MASCOTS

Before facing east to the snowcapped mountains to lead a prayer, Eileen Quintana asked the 50 or so protesters who gathered at the Utah Capitol to raise their hands.  As they wiggled their fingers toward the blue sky, Quintana told them that they were all members of the same clan — regardless of their race or ethnicity.  “You are the five-fingered clan of this Earth,” she said.  “We all are five-fingered.  We’re humans.  We’re on the surface of Mother Earth, holy, sacred being.”  But those who gathered Saturday morning say a Utah legislator’s push to have the state support Native American mascots dehumanizes those indigenous peoples who are living here.  It takes their imagery and equates it to pets and animals typically used as sports mascots, said James Courage Singer, co-founder of the Utah League of Native American Voters.  “Native mascots at their very core are dehumanizing,” he told the crowd.  “If you look at popular mascots, they are often animals or occupations or, in our case, Natives. Natives do not deserve to be in that same category.  We are sacred people.  Mascots are not the way to honor sacred people.”  Dozens of protesters gathered on the Capitol steps to oppose the resolution, sponsored by Rep. Rex Shipp, which would discourage the removal of Native American mascots unless local officials “determine that there is a consensus amongst the affected individual Native American or other indigenous people” that the symbol should be dumped.   Read More

ROUND TWO

BONER CANDIDATE #1: SPACE TREK OR STAR FORCE

The Pentagon’s new U.S. Space Force is not Star Trek’s Starfleet Command, but their logos bear a striking similarity.  President Donald Trump unveiled the Space Force logo Friday, writing on Twitter that he had consulted with military leaders and designers before presenting the blue-and-white symbol, which features an arrowhead shape centered on a planetary background and encircled by the words, “United States Space Force” and “Department of the Air Force.”  The logo, which bears the date 2019 in Roman numerals, also is similar in design to that of Air Force Space Command, from which Space Force was created by legislation that Trump signed in last month.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2: MAN, THE COPS REALLY DID A GREAT JOB SEARCHING THAT CR-V

Thailand’s anti-drugs authority has apologised after it accidentally auctioned off a car hiding tens of thousands of amphetamine tablets.  A buyer paid 586,000 baht ($19,000; £14,500) for the Honda CR-V car, which was put up for auction this month after being seized in a drugs case last year.  But when it was sent to a garage for alterations, a mechanic discovered 94,000 pills stashed in its bumper.  Officials said they would conduct more thorough searches in future.  “According to protocols, we search every vehicle we have received and this case was no exception.  However, we couldn’t find anything at the time, perhaps because the pills had been well hidden,” said Niyom Termsrisuk, secretary general of the Office of the Narcotics Control Board (ONCB), according to the Bangkok Post.  Mr Termsrisuk said the yaba pills – a mixture of methamphetamine and caffeine – were discovered in boxes hidden in a secret compartment behind the vehicle’s bumper.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #3: I WAS MAKING LIGHT OF THE GLOOMY WEATHER

A local Sioux Falls man was arrested earlier Thursday after police found him berating people with loud music and laughter after they slipped and fell on icy spots in a local Walmart parking lot.  “It was something that needed to happen to make light of all the gloomy weather we’ve had lately.  I didn’t know that people would get all pissed off about falling to such a happy song.  I read something online the other day about someone out here yelling cold weather puns, so I figured I would try my luck and get on the news, too,” said the man.  When police arrived at the scene, it looked as though the man had just finished up playing the song for a child who had recently slipped and fallen.  “We arrived on the scene to something very disturbing.  After my partner and I slipped and fell on the ice, we heard that ‘Benny Hill’ song.  You know, the dunn dun dunnndunn funny song that plays when people are in funny chases?  Anyway, we got up and arrested the man after a small chase around the squad car with that song still playing,” said one Sioux Falls Police Department representative we spoke with.   Read More


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