Boners

Boner Of the Day For June 12th, 2019

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: AND MOTHER AGREES TOO

Vice President Pence on Monday defended the State Department’s decision to bar U.S. embassies from flying rainbow flags on their flagpoles during LGBT Pride Month, saying that it was the “right” move. Pence acknowledged in an interview with NBC News that he was aware that the State Department had “indicated” that the American flag should be the only flag flying on U.S. embassies’ flagpoles. He added that he supported the move. Asked whether the move ran counter to Trump’s expressed support for LGBT Pride Month, Pence said that he and the president were “proud to be able to serve every American.” “We both feel that way very passionately, but when it comes to the American flagpole and American embassies and capitals around the world, having the one American flag fly is the right decision,” he said, adding that the Trump administration had administered no other restrictions regarding flags or displays at U.S. embassies.

Boner Candidate #2: WELL, AT LEAST HE PLAGIARIZED AN INTELLECTUAL

PARKERSBURG, W.Va. — A West Virginia, principal accused of plagiarizing Ashton Kutcher in an address to his school’s graduating class has been suspended without pay for five days. The News and Sentinel reports Parkersburg High School Principal Kenny DeMoss was suspended Tuesday at a Wood County Board of Education meeting. DeMoss apologized for heavily basing his May address on Kutcher’s 2013 Nickelodeon Teen Choice Awards speech. He has said he should’ve cited his sources, but the ideas were his own. A Facebook video highlighting the plagiarism spliced the speeches together. DeMoss said the video excluded a disclaimer that multiple sources informed his speech. Kutcher tweeted Saturday that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and cited Oscar Wilde for the quote. He then quipped that “kids and faculty” should cite their sources.

Boner Candidate #3: LEAVE NATURE ALONE

CAPITOL REEF NATIONAL PARK — A popular backcountry destination in Capitol Reef National Park was found illegally vandalized last week. The park’s “Temple of the Moon” monolith was found vandalized with a 27-inch by 17-inch piece of graffiti in the shape of an eye.  The letters MMGB appear vertically to the left of the eye. Staff members at the park have documented the vandalism and will look into the extent of the damage and the cost of rehabilitation.
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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: IF YOU DON’T TALK ABOUT IT, IT ISN’T REAL

WASHINGTON — The White House tried to stop a State Department senior intelligence analyst from discussing climate science in congressional testimony this week, internal emails and documents show. The State Department’s Bureau of Intelligence and Research declined to make changes to the proposed testimony and the analyst, Rod Schoonover, an adjunct professor at Georgetown University, was ultimately allowed to speak before the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence on Wednesday. But in a highly unusual move, the White House refused to approve Dr. Schoonover’s written testimony for entry into the permanent Congressional Record. The reasoning, according to a June 4 email seen by The New York Times, was that the science did not match the Trump administration’s views. Norman J. Ornstein, a resident scholar at the American Enterprise Institute, a conservative policy group, said that it was common for the White House to vet agency testimony to Congress to ensure it did not contradict administration policy. But, he said, “I have never heard of basic facts being deleted from or blocked from testimony.” Mr. Ornstein said withholding the analyst’s written testimony was significant. A verbal presentation could be interpreted as an individual’s position, he said, but “the written testimony is a more formal expression of a department.”

Boner Candidate #2: WOW. GOOD IDEA

MOORPARK, Calif. – A man wanted on an arrest warrant was caught in Southern California after a motorcycle officer spotted the fake license plate on the tractor-trailer he was driving, authorities said Tuesday. The counterfeit license plate, painted black and yellow and reading “Califas” instead of California, prompted the officer to pull the truck over in the city of Moorpark, Senior Deputy David Anaya with the Ventura County Sheriff’s Office said in a statement. A counterfeit license plate that led to the arrest of a tractor-trailer driver in Moorpark appears in an image released by the Ventura County Sheriff’s Office on June 10, 2019. The driver appeared to be under the influence of drugs, Anaya said. The motorist had methamphetamine, did not have a license and had an active warrant for his arrest, according to the sheriff’s office. The vehicle he was driving had to be towed from the scene “because it was unsafe to be driven,” Anaya said. The sheriff’s office has not released the driver’s name. The recent arrest is just one of many involving commercial vehicles traveling through Moorpark, which have become a safety concern for residents, authorities said. About 243 commercial vehicles go through the city every hour, according to the Ventura County Sheriff’s Office.

Boner Candidate #3: ITS CALLED THE ZONE OF EXCLUSION NOT THE DISRESPECTFUL DUMBASS ZONE

The writer of the acclaimed Sky and HBO drama series Chernobyl has spoken out about the proliferation of lewd and inappropriate selfies taken by tourists visiting the nuclear disaster site in Ukraine. Since the five-part miniseries about the 1986 catastrophe at the former Soviet Union power plant began airing in May, tourism at the site has reportedly increased by 30–40%. Social media influencers visiting the site have been subject to criticism in recent days for using renewed interest in the disaster to stage glamour shots for their Instagram accounts. “It’s wonderful that #ChernobylHBO has inspired a wave of tourism to the Zone of Exclusion,” screenwriter Craig Mazin tweeted on Wednesday morning. “But yes, I’ve seen the photos going around. “If you visit, please remember that a terrible tragedy occurred there. Comport yourselves with respect for all who suffered and sacrificed.” The HBO series, starring Jared Harris, Stellan Skarsgård and Emily Watson and directed by Johan Renck, follows the immediate aftermath of the nuclear reactor explosion at the power plant in the town of Pripyat, and the political repercussions of the disturbing and horrendous toll it took on the people, animals and environment in the region. The series has been lauded as “masterful television” that avoids glamorising the disaster. Two people died at the scene of the explosion and another 28 from acute radiation poisoning over the following weeks, while about 1,000 firefighters and emergency services workers experienced high radiation doses during that time, according to the World Health Organisation. The estimated 116,000 people who lived in the town of Pripyat and within a 30km radius of the site were evacuated in the weeks following, though the effects of radiation exposure for the broader population of Ukraine and Europe is still an ongoing concern.

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