ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: WE NEED A DOGGIE BAG SO WE CAN TAKE SOME FOOD TO THE KIDS.
Two Texas parents have been arrested after leaving their three children in a running car for over an hour while they ate at a restaurant.
Boner Candidate #2: WE DON’T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT OUR ‘DON’T FEEL GUILTY’ CIRRICULUM.
On Thursday, the Florida senate voted to ban schools and private businesses from teaching people to feel guilty because of their race.
Boner Candidate #3: COME ON; PUT ‘EM UP VLAD.
Elon Musk took to Twitter to propose a fight with Vladimir Putin, saying the winner of the fight will take Ukraine.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: YOU ARE JUST SLOPPY BURGE; AND DISHONEST TOO.
Rep. Burgess Owens’ required report of his finances stated that he made money from speaking engagements, which is not allowed as a sitting congressman.
Boner Candidate #2: THE TODDLER WAS SEEN HANGING OUT THE WINDOW.
An Ogden man was arrested after he was found passed out in the driver’s seat of a running car with a child inside who was trying to wake him up.
Boner Candidate #3: FOR IT TO WORK RIGHT, YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW IT UP BY EATING A POUND OF AQUARIUM GRAVEL.
Doctors are speaking out against influencers who are promoting the use of an anti-fungal dye that is used to clean fish tanks in order to fight aging.
