ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: I HAD AN AFFAIR WITH THE ISIS BRIDE.
Rep. Van Taylor recently apologized for an affair he had with an ex-jihadist that British tabloids are calling the “ISIS bride”. After his apology, Taylor dropped his bid for a third term.
Boner Candidate #2: IS TUCKER RACIST? YOU DECIDE.
During his show on Thursday, Tucker Carlson questioned the qualifications of Biden’s nominee for Supreme Court, Ketanji Brown Jackson, asking what her LSAT score was and even saying that her name should keep her from being nominated.
Boner Candidate #3: RONNY. YOU ARE A BULLY.
During a press conference at University of South Florida on Wednesday, Ron DeSantis scolded a group of middle school students who were wearing masks that were on the stage behind him saying, “Honestly, it’s not doing anything and we’ve gotta stop with this COVID theater”.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: ANOTHER REMINDER THAT WHEEL OF FORTUNE AIN’T JEOPARDY.
During an episode of Wheel of Fortune on Tuesday, all three contestants had a difficult time guessing the phrase “another feather in your cap” with only a few letters missing. The clip is going viral on Twitter.
Boner Candidate #2: OKAY…HERE’S THE REAL REASON I WAS SPEEDING.
A Florida man was pulled over for speeding and after several excuses about the reason why, he told officers that the truth was, “I just found out that Putin just said he’s gonna launch nuclear thermal war against the world and I was trying to get back to my house to find out what’s going on”.
Boner Candidate #3: THOUGHTS FROM A SO CALLED CONSERVATIVE INTELLECTUAL.
During his show, The Daily Wire, Ben Shapiro commented on Joe Biden’s State of the Union address saying, “Joe Biden is the Kurt Cobain of politics. He put a shotgun in the mouth of the American body politic and then pulled the trigger. And the brains are on the wall”.
