Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for May 6th, 2019

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: SOMEONE NEEDS A TALK ABOUT BOUNDARIES.

Video shows teacher aide sitting on male high school student’s lap in front of class. “The teacher was sitting on a student’s lap on her computer, she acts like she really doesn’t care,” says a student who asked not to be identified. This student was not in the class at the time the video was taken, but saw it for the first time on Friday. “I don’t think she was innocent at all doing it,” the student said. The woman in the video is not a teacher — rather, she’s a teacher’s aide, which is not a licensed position. She has been employed at Granger High since the beginning of the year as an hourly employee. “It’s just very disruptive, and how can she even do that?” the student said. “It’s very sickening.” A Granite School District spokesperson tells 2News they are investigating a possible violation of policy. There’s no official word why the teaching aide was sitting on the teen’s lap in front of the class. 2News knows the identity of the woman in the video, but are not releasing it because she has not yet been charged with a policy violation or with a crime.

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Boner Candidate #2: ISN’T THAT BOBBY WEARING THAT DUMB WIG?

A Florida fugitive wanted on drug charges tried to elude deputies surrounding the home he was in Thursday by donning a long blonde wig and riding off on a bicycle, the Brevard County Sheriff’s Office said. The wig didn’t work, and agents caught up with and arrested Robert “Bobby” Walls soon after watching him ride away, deputies said. Walls later admitted he put the wig on in hopes that officers wouldn’t recognize him and that he’d avoid arrest, deputies said. Investigators had set up a perimeter around the residence after getting a tip he was there. Walls’ warrant was one of over 100 in “a significant drug investigation” by the sheriff’s office. Walls was charged with conspiracy to possess controlled substance, solicitation to sell controlled substance, and unlawful use of a two-way device. So here is the moral of the story,” the sheriff’s office posted on its Facebook page. “Don’t sell drugs and you don’t have to worry about going to jail, don’t try to hide from Law Enforcement if you have a warrant, and above all else DO NOT wear a hideous wig while trying to run from the Po/Po on a bicycle.”

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Boner Candidate #3: FIND A GOOD PERSON, YOU KNOW, AN AMERICAN

A Denver landlord will pay a Muslim father and son more than half a million dollars after denying them a sublease because of their religion. Rashad Kahn and his father co-own a popular Indian restaurant in Boulder. They found a spot at 9th and Corona in Denver that would be perfect for a second location. Craig Caldwell leased it at the time. Caldwell was grateful to find a sub-let renter who would take over the remainder of his 5-year lease, but his landlord didn’t approve. The lease requires the landlord, Katina Gatchis, to sign off on sublets. Cell phone audio recordings, detailing conversations between Caldwell and Gatchis, were at the center of the lawsuit. “So if I get anybody, as long as it’s not a Muslim, I would be okay?” Caldwell asks. “Yes, No Muslims, especially this guy,” says Gatchis, in the recording. “…Good American person, like you and me.”

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: HE WANTED A CLOSE UP LOOK OF THE VOLCANO

A man survived a 70-foot fall into one of the most active volcanoes on Earth on Wednesday after he climbed over a metal guardrail at Hawaii Volcanoes National Park, the authorities said. The man, identified by Army officials on Friday as a 32-year-old enlisted soldier, was trying to get a better look at the cliff edge when he lost his footing. He fell 70 feet into the caldera, or crater, of Kilauea, a destructive volcano whose monthslong eruption last year spewed ash, gas and lava into the air and destroyed an estimated 700 homes on the island of Hawaii. Park officials said Thursday that the man was seriously injured, but on Friday he was in stable condition, according to an Army spokesman. The authorities did not give further details. Kilauea is not currently erupting, the United States Geological Survey said in its weekly report from the Hawaiian Volcano Observatory. But it said in a statement that Kilauea “ranks among the world’s most active volcanoes and may even top the list.” The Geological Survey has ranked the volcano’s threat potential as “very high.”

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Boner Candidate #2: OOPSIE DAISY!

An Arizona couple is speaking out and demanding an apology after the medical staff was caught on camera dropping one of their newborn baby girls, KNXV reported. Derrick and Monique Rodgers shared the video to Facebook, and within hours, it had been viewed millions of times. According to KNXV, the incident happened at Chandler Regional Medical Center just seconds after Madison and Morgan were born February 14. In the video, Morgan, weighing just over three pounds, is dropped from a hospital employee’s hands onto a table. Nurses are seen scrambling to keep her from hitting the floor. Rodgers told KNXV that when he confronted the doctor with the video, he received an apathetic response. Both parents said that aside from being small, having been born prematurely, Morgan seems to be in good health. They do worry that she seems to tense up and shake at times, according to KNXV. Monique said an apology would have gone a long way after the accident.

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Boner Candidate #3: YOU DESERVE EACH OTHER

It was tat at first sight. “Just looking for a Tinder match to get matching tattoos with,” reads Chris DeSanti’s bio on the dating app. “Match my impulsiveness and spontaneity. On Saturday, he found his match. “I immediately swiped ’cause [it sounded] fun,” Kennedy Walters tells The Post of her impromptu ink with a total stranger. “We were gonna get a taco, but I was thinking, ‘I always wanted a shamrock tattoo.’” The college senior now shares matching four-leaf-clover tattoos with DeSanti — and ” it only took three minutes.” The two 22-year-old Pennsylvanians went on their first date afterward, hanging out at DeSanti’s friend’s house before bouncing to a bar. They have plans to hookup for a second date soon. In one respect, though, Walters has already committed herself to DeSanti. “He’s my one and only,” she says, referring to the fact that she doesn’t plan on getting matching tattoos with a stranger again. In one respect, though, Walters has already committed herself to DeSanti. “He’s my one and only,” she says, referring to the fact that she doesn’t plan on getting matching tattoos with a stranger again.

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