Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for November 4th, 2019

ROUND ONE

 

BONER CANDIDATE #1: I KNOW I SAID “NO JOKE,” BUT WHAT I MEANT WAS “I JOKE, I JOKE”

“I need a guy who could kill someone,” a Florida teenager allegedly wrote to a friend on Instagram, authorities say. “No joke. I need him eliminated as soon as possible.” Nicholas Robert Godfrey says he was just joking, police said. But the 18-year-old student of Fivay High School in Pasco County is charged with attempting to solicit and conspiring to commit murder. During a Friday press conference, Sheriff Chris Nocco said the messages showed Godfrey was trying to find someone to kill an employee of his high school. Nocco said other messages sent by Godfrey from the Instagram account “fivayfanclub” included, “We have $100,000 for the victim’s head.” The messages were discovered after they were brought to the attention of a school resource officer. According to the criminal complaint, after the messages were discovered, a search led investigators to an IP address registered at Godfrey’s home. The complaint says Godfrey confessed to sending the messages. That happened during a “non-custodial” interview with Pasco County investigators. He also “freely provided a written statement documenting his solicitation for murder,” and produced the cell phone he used to send the messages.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2: OH POOR RUBI, THE GOLDEN DOODLE

A puppy receiving a routine surgery in Ogden came back from the veterinarian with cuts on her stomach and an IV left in her leg. Now the veterinarian in charge of the procedure is apologizing for mistakes made that day. “Rubi” the Goldendoodle was spayed on Thursday, but was still in pain days after the procedure. Ashley Chapman, the dog’s owner, said nobody at Borrett Animal Hospital told her Rubi was injured when she picked up her puppy. Instead, she said she found the IV and injuries when she got home. “We saw her just yapping at her arm, she was like chewing on something,” Chapman said. “When I saw the IV (still intact), it just makes me so angry that someone could be so careless — because this is my child!” Chapman removed the IV herself, not wanting to take any risks by waiting until the next day. Dr. Kathy Borrett said she and her office staff do not have an excuse for the IV left in Rubi’s arm.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #3: BUILD THAT WALL KIDS

A Halloween party on Oct. 25 at the Eisenhower Executive Office Building featured candy, paper airplanes and — concerning for some attendees — a station where children were encouraged to help “Build the Wall” with their own personalized bricks. Photos of the children’s mural with the paper wall were provided to Yahoo News. The party, which took place inside the office building used by White House staff, included the families of executive-branch employees and VIP guests inside and outside government. Even though many of the attendees were members of President Trump’s administration, not everyone thought the Halloween game was a treat. “Horrified. We were horrified,” said a person who was there and requested anonymity to avoid professional retaliation. The Eisenhower Executive Office Building stands across from the White House and houses a large portion of the West Wing support staff and is home to the vice president’s ceremonial office. The “Build the Wall” mural was on the first floor, outside the speechwriter’s office and next to the office of digital strategy and featured red paper bricks, each bearing the name of a child. Large letters on the display spelled out “Build the Wall.” Kids dressed as superheroes and ninjas were given brick-colored paper cards and told to write their name with a marker and tape them to the wall. Alongside the paper wall were signs including one that read “America First,” a slogan often used by President Trump that had been criticized because it was previously employed by the Ku Klux Klan.   Read More

 

 

ROUND TWO

 

BONER CANDIDATE #1: IT’S NOT A CRIME UNLESS YOU GET CAUGHT

It’s not a crime unless you get caught. Those words were on the back of a man’s T-shirt as he committed a crime. We know because a security camera showed him as he cracked open a vending machine at the Twin City Coin Laundry in Crystal City, Mo. This is a Class C felony, even though he’s not yet caught. If you see him, you may know him by the 15 pounds of change and bills he stole, or by his sense of irony.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2: WHY DIDN’T SOMEONE SEND THE LITTLE NAZI HOME?

A principal and teacher at Creekside Elementary have been placed on paid administrative after a student wearing a Nazi costume was allowed to participate in the school’s Halloween parade Thursday. Davis School District spokesperson Chris Williams confirmed the incident and that the school district is conducting an investigation. “The Davis School District apologizes for what took place yesterday. It does not tolerate speech, images or conduct that portray or promote hate in any form. The district is taking the matter very seriously and is investigating every aspect of the situation,” the district said in a statement. A photo of the student wearing the costume appeared in several area Facebook groups Friday morning, including the pages of two Utah chapters of Black Lives Matter. It was shared by a parent who witnessed the incident, according to Lex Scott, leader of Black Lives Matter Utah. The student is shown wearing khaki pants, a brown shirt, a tie and a red armband with a swastika. The post claimed the student was also “hailing Hitler” during the parade, but Williams could not confirm this occurred. “That I have no idea,” Williams said. “That would be part of the investigation.”

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BONER CANDIDATE #3: A TRUMP SUPPORTER’S HALLOWEEN

 

 


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