Boners

Boner of the Day (Round 1 and 2) January 30th, 2019

Round 1

Boner Candidate #1: AFTER I GAVE PERMISSION TO END LIFE SUPPORT FOR MY BROTHER, GUESS WHAT I FOUND OUT?

For nearly two weeks, Shirell Powell stood vigil over her brother’s bedside in a New York hospital, believing there was nothing more doctors could do to save him. She was told he was brain-dead — the result of a narcotics overdose — so in late July 2018, a grieving Powell gave her permission to take him off life support and her brother was pronounced dead. A couple of weeks later, Powell was notified that the man she was about to lay to rest was someone with a similar name, Freddy Clarence Williams. Her brother, 40-year-old Frederick Williams, was very much alive. Powell is suing St. Barnabas Hospital for negligence and is seeking monetary relief. She says she “suffered severe emotional harm and injuries” as a result of the hospital mistakenly identifying the unconscious man as her brother, according to court documents.

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Boner Candidate #2: WHY DON’T YOU PUT THAT BO BERRY BISCUIT WHERE THE SUN DON’T SHINE.

Bojangles’ has fired an employee after a deputy allegedly received a Bo-Berry biscuit at an Onslow County restaurant with an icing design that spelled, “F U.” Daniel Pridgen, a sheriff’s deputy in Jones County, was in uniform when he stopped at a Bojangles’ in Richlands on Monday on his way home from work. Pridgen said he ordered roasted chicken bites at the drive-thru and was asked to pull forward and wait while they cooked. After 15 minutes passed, Pridgen told WRAL News he walked inside the restaurant to find out what was taking so long. Pridgen said the person at the counter was apologetic and offered him complimentary Bo-Berry biscuits for his long wait. When the deputy got home, he opened the box and saw “F U” spelled out in icing letters on one of the biscuits.

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Boner Candidate #3: IF YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED YOU SHOULD MAKE SURE YOUR MISTRESS IS OKAY WITH IT

The incident appears to have taken place in South Africa where a man in a tux can be desperately seen trying to calm down a woman in a wedding dress, while the woman who appears to be set to marry, looks on bemused. The chaotic scene is soudtracked by guests who are either screaming or shouting, with others taking pictures or recording video on their phones. Twitter user @nkokhi shared the clip in June of last year, but it has recently gone viral picking up more than 600,000 views and 6,000 retweets at the time of writing. It’s unclear where and when the video was actually filmed and what happened next, but the mistress appears to be trying to tell the bride what the man she is about to marry is really like.

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Round 2

Boner Candidate #1: DON’T TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY KIDS.

MOUNT VERNON, Ky. — A Kentucky father was arrested after police say he made his young children finish brutal workouts as punishment for breaking house rules, WKYT reports. James Pal Kidwell, 40, of Mount Vernon, is charged with first-degree child abuse. Kidwell is accused of forcing his children, 11 and 13, to do pushups for half an hour straight. Kidwell is also accused of making the two kids eat soap. One of the kids had a sore in his mouth from the soap. According to police, one of the children had a bruise on his chest from a punch. Police said Kidwell would also make the kids lean forward, with their foreheads against a wall, for up to 30 minutes.

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Boner Candidate #2: WHY DON’T YOU SIT BETWEEN THOSE TWO BIG PIGS

An unhinged woman was kicked off a recent United Airlines flight after going on a fat-shaming tirade about her two seatmates – calling the passengers on either side of her “two big pigs.” “Oh my goodness! I don’t know how I’m going to do this for the next four hours!” the woman barks into her cellphone on the Las Vegas-to-Newark flight. “This is just impossible ’cause they’re squishing me. Like, just unbelievable. At least they’ll keep me warm,” she fumes. “I can’t sit here because they’re both so big on left and right. I can’t even sit here.” Norma Rodgers, an award-winning nurse from New Jersey sitting next to the obnoxious woman, captures her on video as she continues her rant. “B—h, please! OK?” Rodgers finally says. But the woman lashes back, “I can’t do this! I eat salad!”

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Boner Candidate #3:  FIRST, YOU NEED TO TRY IT ON YOURSELVES.

CHENOA, Ill. (WEEK) — The Chenoa Police Department is looking for volunteers to face the shocking end of their Tasers. The officers are undergoing their annual Taser training tonight at 7 p.m., and are looking for members of the public who are willing to volunteer for the experience. Volunteers must sign an exposure waiver to participate.

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