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Boner Preview Candidates for December 14, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN COMMENT DOES NOT MEAN YOU SHOULD COMMENT

A Layton teenager who was the target of some unkind comments from a customer last week says her faith in humanity has been restored. Justine Elwood, 19, loves her job at Cold Stone Creamery, 936 N. Main. “I love working with people,” Elwood said. “I get to see a lot of different people all the time.” Last Monday was no exception. That day, she helped a mom and her kids.  “They were trying a lot of samples, and she pulled her kids aside and she wasn’t whispering, and she was like, ‘Yeah, if you have too much ice cream, you’re going to look like her,’ and kind of pointed at me,” Elwood said. It was a comment that came as a shock. “It kind of threw me off guard,” she said, “and I didn’t really know what to say in the moment.” But it didn’t stop there. The next day, Elwood checked the store’s Yelp account.

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Boner Candidate #2: THE SONG WAS NOT “DELIGHT-SOME” TO SOME MEMBERS.

The plan called for making the new song “White” — based on scriptural allusions to purity — one of the resources approved for next year’s Young Women program for teenage Mormon girls. But the LDS Church is changing its tune. “The song is being pulled, pending further review,” spokesman Eric Hawkins said Tuesday in response to questions from The Salt Lake Tribune. “It’s important to church leaders that there not be feelings of offense or misunderstanding associated with the song.” It is not surprising that Mormons of color and others objected to the lyrics, given the Utah-based faith’s racial history. It wasn’t until 1978 that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints lifted a more than centurylong ban on black men and boys joining its all-male priesthood and black women and girls from entering LDS temples.

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Boner Candidate #3: THAT’S RIGHT. IF AMAZON SELLS THEM, PARENTS WILL BE FORCED TO BUY THEM FOR THEIR KIDS.

Looks like clothes for kids have gone to pot, and that has parents and anti-drug advocates fired up. Amazon is selling a line of leggings for girls as young as 2 featuring green marijuana leaves. The Chinese-made pot pants sell for $5.99 to $7. The leafy leggings are sold by AOSHILONG-Baby, which eschews any cannabis reference and calls the pattern simply “digital printed leaves.” But that didn’t stop a grandmother in Fort Myers, Florida, from trying to weed out the items on Amazon. The woman, who asked not to be named, told WFTX-TV she considers the pot pants inappropriate for children and complained through Amazon’s website.

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Boner Candidate #4: SEEMS TO ME HE’S OVER QUALIFIED FOR THE POSITION.

Charged with drunken driving, the chairman of the Prince George’s County liquor license board will step down from his role as chairman after being asked to do so by Maryland Governor Larry Hogan, the governor’s office said.  Charles Caldwell III agreed to step down, Shareese DeLeaver Churchill, a spokeswoman for the governor, said Tuesday evening.  “Under these circumstances, the governor does not have the authority to remove Mr. Caldwell from the board. However, the governor is very concerned and disappointed in this situation and has asked Mr. Caldwell to step down from his role as chairman, which he has agreed to do,” she said in a statement.

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Boner Candidate #5: THE WORST BUTT DIAL EVER

A routine trip to a local diner allowed Danville’s Police Chief to serve a side of a justice to some would-be robbers. According to the Danville Advocate Messenger, police say two suspects were sitting inside their car outside of Brothers’ BBQ discussing their plans to rob the restaurant. Unfortunately for them, one of the men had accidentally pocket dialed police dispatch. Serendipitously, Police Chief Tony Gray was enjoying dinner and talking to owner Mike Southerland when he got a phone call.  “They start to walk out together, then Tony gets a call — I see Tony’s police face come on, so I knew something was up,” Southerland told the Advocate Messenger. Gray was told that dispatch had picked up an accidental call and could hear people discussing robbing a business. They were triangulating the location from key words, including the mention of Chief Gray’s name.

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Boner Candidate #6: IF YOU GIVE THEM THE RIGHT TO DRIVE THIS WILL HAPPEN

The Saudi woman was going out for breakfast when she decided to make a statement. Violating the country’s moral codes, she reportedly stepped out in public wearing a multicolored dress, a black jacket and ankle boots — without a hijab or abaya, a loosefitting garment. Late last month, she tweeted a photo of her outfit, and the post circulated through Saudi Arabia, drawing death threats and demands to imprison or even execute the woman. On Monday, police in the country’s capital of Riyadh said they had arrested the woman, following their duty to monitor “violations of general morals,” a spokesman, Fawaz al-Maiman, said, AFP reported. The woman, who is in her 20s, was imprisoned after posting the tweet of herself standing next to a popular Riyadh cafe, he said.

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