Boners

Boner Preview candidates for October 20, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: IT WAS A SPECIAL EXERCISE FOR THIS STUDENT IN PE

Officials in a Mississippi school district have fired a special education teacher after a video showed her dragging a special-needs student by her hair across the floor. CBS Greenville affiliate WXVT reports the Greenville Public School District’s Board of Trustees voted Monday to terminate Linda Winters-Johnson. Additionally, Superintendent Leeson Taylor has been placed on administrative leave with pay as the investigation into the incident continues. The decision comes 11 days after the video began circulating on the Internet.

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Boner Candidate #2: WELL, YES THAT’S ME. BUT THAT’S NOT WHO I AM.

A Chicago woman is facing felony hate crime charges after video captured her spitting and yelling a racial slur at a black couple. A Chicago-area woman is facing hate crime charges after video showed her spitting and repeatedly shouting a racial slur at a black couple during a margarita festival over the summer. Jessica Sanders, 26, was arrested last week and charged with two felony counts of committing a hate crime and two misdemeanor counts of battery/making physical contact, according to Chicago police.

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Boner Candidate #3: DRAMA QUEEN.

A man convicted of sexually assaulting a teenager pulled a razor blade and slashed his throat in an Orange County courtroom Wednesday moments after the verdict. Jeffrey Scott Jones, 56, of Huntington Beach, was rushed to a hospital with non-life threatening injuries. Jones, who taught Advanced Placement English classes at the Libra Academy in Huntington Park, was accused of molesting and having sex with a teenage relative of his live-in girlfriend in 2012 and 2013. Prosecutors said DNA evidence pointed to Jones.

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Boner Candidate #4: WE NEEDED TO MAKE THIS NOTE TO PARENTS VERY CLEAR.

Cash-strapped Scuola Primaria Casati in Milan is requiring that all students bring rolls of toilet paper as the school grapples with a lack of public funding, according to reports. The educational institution sent a note to parents saying, “We’ve run out of toilet paper. So that this great friendship can continue we have to bring one packet of four rolls of toilet paper [each]!” The note features an image of a smiling pile of poo giving the peace sign, along with an equally happy roll of toilet paper, The Local reported.

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Boner Candidate #5: WELL, HE’S A GOOD KICKER AND A DEVOUT CHRISTIAN

Bombshell documents released Wednesday portrayed Josh Brown, in his own words and those of his ex-wife, as being a serial abuser and “sexual deviant” who terrorized his spouse. The Giants kicker admitted to “physically, emotionally and verbally” abusing Molly Brown, now his ex-wife, numerous times, in journal entries, counseling exercises and court documents. The forms were submitted as evidence by Brown’s ex-wife, and released by the Kings County, Wash., Sheriff’s Office. Brown was arrested in May 2015 and charged with fourth-degree domestic violence. The charge, in Woodinville, Wash., was later dismissed, and Brown was suspended for the opening game this season, rather than the baseline six games the NFL levies for a first domestic-violence offense.

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Boner Candidate #6: TECHNICALLY IT’S TWO OF YOUR THINGS.

Supermodel and American television personality Kendall Jenner has revealed that she actually loves to show off her breasts. During an interview with W magazine, the Keeping Up with the Kardashians star admitted that showing off her breast was one of her things.

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