Boners

Boner Preview for February 28th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: WAS THIS SOMEHOW NOT RACIST DURING A DIFFERENT TIME?

A Republican politician running for a state legislature seat in Louisiana is under fire after a picture surfaced of him in blackface.  Louisiana politics website The Hayride uncovered the photo, which showed Robbie Gatti dressed as Tiger Woods: In a Facebook post, Gatti confirmed the image was of him and said it was taken 15 years ago at a church festival “where all the volunteers were told to dress as a famous person.”

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Boner Candidate #2: WHERE IS GARRET? DID WE LET HIM GO?

Police are searching for a murder suspect who was mistakenly released from state custody in an apparent case of miscommunication, Illinois officials said Monday. Garrett Glover, 29,  was released early on parole after being sentenced in 2014 to four years in prison for attempted armed robbery, according to the Cook County Sheriff’s Office.  Glover, who had been housed at the Cook County Jail since February, 2014, became eligible for parole after receiving credit for time served – 879 days, officials told the Chicago Tribune.  But the sheriff says Glover should never have been released because he was also charged with murder in a fatal shooting along Interstate 94 in 2012.  Those charges were filed in 2015. Prosecutors say that Glover opened fire on a Jeep in September, 2012, killing the 25-year-old driver, Larry Porter. In a statement, the Illinois Department of Corrections said it “did not receive any additional documentation or information indicating he should be held beyond his February 24th, 2017 release date.”

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Boner Candidate #3: WALK IT OFF SISSY! WALK IT OFF!

North Carolina lawmakers hope to allow parents to choose when their concussed kids can return to the field, instead of requiring approval from a qualified medical professional. Seriously. Right now, North Carolina law requires immediate removal of any student displaying concussion symptoms during a game. House Bill 116, should it pass, will give parents the power to decide when their concussed child can resume playing. It is perhaps worth noting that most parents are not qualified medical professionals.

Boner Candidate #4: AT LEAST IT WASN’T SEXUAL?

A 19-year-old white man accused of kicking a coat hanger up the rectum of a mentally disabled black teammate received no jail time at his sentencing on Friday. Former high school football player John R. K. Howard entered a so-called “Alford plea,” meaning he maintains his innocence while admitting a judge or jury would likely find him guilty. He was sentenced to probation and community service, and his conviction might be entirely dismissed at a later date. The Twin Falls Times-News writes that supporters of the black player see the sentencing as “a slap on the wrist for a privileged white teen who preyed on a disabled teammate from the only black family in town.”

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Boner Candidate #5: THE SERIAL ABUSER….LOCK HIM UP

Chris Brown’s former neighbor, is backing Karrueche Tran’s claims that the “Loyal” singer was abusive during their relationship when he was still on probation for assaulting Rihanna. Just days after Tran was granted a restraining order against her ex after he allegedly threatened to kill her, Cola opened up about the couple’s volatile romance, claiming she previously heard Brown beating his then-girlfriend up from her own home. “Some of y’all make me sick to my stomach talking about. Karrueches lying. I’ve heard him beating her myself. I even called the police,” she tweeted. “I used to cry over that situation hearing her screaming at the top of her lungs because i am also a victim of domestic violence.”

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Boner Candidate #6: TOO MANY JEWS

A high-ranking CUNY administrator secretly complained about “too many Jews” on the faculty at Kingsborough Community College, according to blockbuster audio obtained by The Post. Stuart Suss, a former interim president of the school, allegedly made the remark to a Kingsborough professor, who then relayed it to a colleague while being secretly recorded. “What did you hear him say?” asked Business Department Chairman Jeffrey Lax, who is suing Suss and CUNY over claims of religious discrimination and harassment. “Oh, that there are too many Jews,” math professor Ronald Forman replied during the April 4 exchange. Lax’s Brooklyn federal court suit accuses Suss — now vice president of academic affairs at CUNY’s Guttman Community College — of making anti-Semitic remarks and reducing the number of Jews on the Kingsborough faculty.

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