Boners

Boner Candidates for March 31st, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: NOT RAPE? NOT RAPE? WELL THEN WHAT IS IT?

We can hear the comments now; “What kind of bullsh!t is this, Anonymous? I’m officially unfollowing,” but wait! Before you do, take the time to read the article because unfortunately, it’s true. An Oklahoma judge, who has himself been indicted for various corruptions, ruled that oral sex with a victim who is unconscious is not rape because technically, the person can’t object if they’re passed out. His recent judgement has of course sparked outrage, and Representative Scott Biggs (R-Chickasha), says he plans to amend a bill to fix it. According to The Guardian’s report, the judgement comes with a case involving a 17-year-old boy who sexually assaulted a 16-year-old girl when she was passed-out. They had been drinking with other teens at a Tulsa park, and once it became clear the girl was overly intoxicated, the boy offered to give her a ride home. Another teen rode part of the way with them, and said the girl was going in and out of consciousness in the car.

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Boner Candidate #2: DON’T BE MESSING WITH MY DAUGHTER

A mother faces multiple charges after police said she went to a South Florida high school during dismissal and knocked the cellphone out of the hand of her daughter’s rival, while hitting the girl several times. But the Monday afternoon confrontation didn’t end there, police said in an arrest report for Ernstlatta LaFrance, 30. When the Carol City High School student went to LaFrance’s nearby townhome to get her phone, the woman broke the teen’s middle finger and destroyed her car with an ax. LaFrance’s partner, Erlisa Evans, 28, stepped outside the home and fired a gun into the air three times, according to an arrest report. She’s now facing charges of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and firing a gun into the air.

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Boner Candidate #3: MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS

A team of medics in Colombia has been axed after being caught on camera bumping and grinding next to a nude patient lying face down on an operating table, according to a report. The alleged professionals, wearing blue scrubs and face masks, appear to be mocking their anesthetized patient as they laugh hysterically and gyrate against the surgery table at the Clinica Santa Cruz de Bocagrande in Bolivar, disturbing footage shows. The clinic fired the five people involved in the incident, the Mirror reported.

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