Boners

Boner (Round One and Two) for April 4th, 2018

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: IT HELPS RELAX THEM FOR NAP TIME .

Two former day care employees face felony charges after police say surveillance video caught them repeatedly abusing youngsters during nap time at a Sioux Falls-area daycare. Teresa Gallagher, age 31, and 22-year-old Kenedi Wendt were both arrested on 25 counts of abuse or cruelty to a minor. Both were ordered held on a $25,000 cash bond. Investigators say the case came to light February 26, when a parent told police that their child made a comment about being abused by an employee at Little Blessings Daycare in Sioux Falls. The case was referred to the Department of Social Services who then talked to the daycare’s supervisor. The daycare reviewed surveillance video and immediately fired Gallagher and Wendt.

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Boner Candidate #2: OKIE GOVERNOR DEMEANS SCHOOL TEACHERS.

“Teachers want more,” Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin says of demands for more education spending. “But it’s kind of like a teenager wanting a better car.” Oklahoma’s teachers are asking for more education spending than the state can afford, Gov. Mary Fallin insisted Tuesday. “Teachers want more,” Fallin told CBS News in an interview. “But it’s kind of like a teenager wanting a better car.” Fallin, a Republican, signed a measure last week raising teachers’ salaries by about $6,100 per year, while increasing school funds by $50 million – roughly 20 percent of what educators were seeking.

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Boner Candidate #3: HEADLESS CHICKEN? YOU BET I DID THAT.

A University High School student who told deputies he has violent outbursts broke into a chicken coop on campus over the weekend and bit off the head of a chicken, Volusia County sheriff’s deputies said. David Andrew Jimenez, 17, of Orange City, was charged with felony animal cruelty and trespassing on school property. Jimenez was released to his parents, who were given a notice to appear in court on Wednesday, a charging affidavit states. According to sheriff’s spokesman Andrew Gant, Jimenez was identified as the suspect in the death of the headless chicken after another student said Jimenez was bragging about it.

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: IT WAS A TEACHING MOMENT.

Pupils at Kindezi Old Fourth Ward Charter School perform in blackface masks A school in Atlanta has apologised after children performed a poem for Black History Month in blackface masks. Pupils at Kindezi Old Fourth Ward Charter School recited Paul Laurence Dunbar’s 1896 poem “We Wear The Mask” while wearing black masks with exaggerated red lips and white eyes.  A video of the recital, which was performed by seven and eight-year-olds, has been viewed millions of times since it was posted on Facebook by a concerned parent last week. Semone Banks, who shared the footage, said many mothers were “pissed” and that the school “has to do better”.

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Boner Candidate #2: SHOVE IT IN THERE AND HOPE IT COMES HERE

Following the recent “Tide Pod Challenge,” which inspired teenagers to attempt to eat Tide Pods, a dangerous fad has reemerged in its wake. Young people are posting videos of themselves snorting the birth control devices and inhaling it until it hopefully reemerges out of the mouth. Condom snorting has become the latest dangerous trend to hit the internet, and it poses just as much of a health risk as attempting to eat Tide Pods. “You are literally putting something down your nose, which connects to your mouth, which connects to your trachea,” Dr. Ammar Ali, an emergency room physician at Beaumont Health, told CBS Detroit, as reported by CBS News. “I mean, you are risking choking on it.”

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Boner Candidate #3: IT’S A FAMILY OWNED AND OPERATED BUSINESS

Authorities say a Pennsylvania couple ran a brothel out of a residence where three young children were living. Ingram police say 26-year-old Brittany Patrick and her 27-year-old boyfriend, Lukas Trout, face child endangerment charges. Patrick is also charged with prostitution, while Trout also faces a conspiracy charge. Authorities say they learned of the brothel after receiving complaints from Patrick’s neighbors. Investigators soon discovered an ad Patrick had placed on an adult website. The probe culminated Friday when an undercover officer went to Patrick’s apartment and Trout allegedly welcomed him and directed him to a bedroom.

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