Boners

Boner (Round One and Two) for December 19th, 2018

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: HE WAS A CHASER WHO WANTED TO TRY BEING A CHASEE.

A New Jersey police lieutenant was arrested for leading cops on a chase early Friday morning after a boozy holiday party, sources tell The Jersey Journal. Michael Dillon, 50, of the Jersey City Police Department, was charged with moving violations and released after the pursuit in Monmouth County, police said. He has been suspended without pay and other charges are “pending” as cops investigate.

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Boner Candidate #2: THE PERFECT DISGUISE FOR A PORCH PIRATE.

Amazon delivery driver stole packages from porches. NORTH SALT LAKE, Utah — A delivery driver for Amazon is facing five counts of theft after homeowners in North Salt Lake said they caught him stealing packages. Last week, a homeowner said he noticed a delivery driver acting suspiciously. “He was kind of hanging his head out the window, presumably looking for addresses,” the homeowner, who did not want to be identified, said. The homeowner then said the driver got out of an unmarked van with a box, went up to his house and swapped it for a package that was already on his porch.

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Boner Candidate #3: IMAGINE DRAGONS AND CHRISTMAS…READ YOUR BIBLE.

A Louisiana woman’s inflatable dragon decorations were deemed “totally inappropriate” this holiday season by an apparent neighbor who accused her of belonging to a “demonic cult.”
Diana Rowland has since added to her dragon display and garnered an army of fans online — even J.K. Rowling.  On Friday, she tweeted a photo of a note she received that read, in all capital letters: “Neighbor, Your dragon display is only marginally acceptable at Halloween. It is totally inappropriate at Christmas. It makes your neighbors wonder if you are involved in a demonic cult. Please consider removing the dragons. May God bless you and help you know the true meaning of Christmas.”

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: THE NRA CAN HUG OFF

The Latest on the Trump administration’s move to ban bump stocks (all times local):3:55 p.m. The National Rifle Association is “disappointed” with the Trump administration’s plan to outlaw bump stocks, which allow semi-automatic weapons to fire continuously. Spokeswoman Jennifer Baker says the Justice Department should provide amnesty for gun owners who already have the devices. The Justice Department says the attachments will be banned beginning in late March under a law that prohibits machine guns. The new rule reverses a 2010 government decision that found bump stocks didn’t amount to machine guns.

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Boner Candidate #2: IT SEEMS AMERICAN PREPARATORY ACADEMY WAS OPERATING BEYOND THE LAW.

Beyond the Books investigates an effort by charter school American Preparatory Academy to meet fire code that cost taxpayers an estimated $500,000. (Photo: KUTV) (KUTV) — American Preparatory Academy is in the middle of a lengthy, expensive legal battle that has cost Utah taxpayers hundreds of thousands of dollars, all thanks to what critics suggest is poor planning and a sense of entitlement. Beyond the Books investigates an effort by charter school American Preparatory Academy to meet fire code that cost taxpayers an estimated $500,000. (Photo: KUTV) It’s an undertaking that started in 2013, when APA started building a new campus in Draper. The fire marshal had warned the charter school that the site would require an emergency access road so fire trucks and ambulances could get to the kids if there was an emergency. According to the fire marshal, APA ignored the order.

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Boner Candidate #3: IF YOU NEEDED PROOF THAT ANTI-VAXERS ARE STUPID

Here’s a list of the dumbest things that anti-vaxers have said on social media.

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