Boners

Boner (Round One and Two) for June 5th, 2018

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: I HOPE AN OLD LADY RUNS HIM DOWN.

A Florida police department has suspended an officer for writing on Facebook that a student activist who survived a shooting massacre should be run over by a car. Coconut Creek Police Chief Albert Arenal announced Tuesday that he has suspended Brian Valenti for five days without pay for posting a comment about Marjory Stoneman Douglas High senior David Hogg. The student had organized Friday a “die in” at the Publix supermarket chain over its support of a pro-NRA gubernatorial candidate. Valenti posted he hoped “some old lady loses control of her car in that lot” under a photo of Hogg. Valenti deleted the post. Union representative Rod Skirvin told the South Florida SunSentinel the 45-year-old veteran officer was sorry for his actions.

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Boner Candidate #2: THE WHITE PRIVILEGE RANT.

A Rutgers University professor — who is white — railed against white children as “little Caucasian a—holes” in a racist Facebook rant that called them out for being privileged. James Livingston blew his lid Thursday after grabbing a burger to go from restaurant Harlem Shake on West 124th Street, according to the Daily Caller. “OK, officially, I now hate white people. I am a white people [sic], for God’s sake, but can we keep them — us — us out of my neighborhood?” Livingston wrote in the post that’s since been deleted. He said the restaurant was “overrun with little Caucasian a–holes who know their parents will approve of anything they do.” He continued, “Slide around the floor, you little s—thead, sing loudly, you unlikely moron. Do what you want, nobody here is gonna restrict your right to be white.”

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Boner Candidate #3: IF YOU HAVE TOO MANY KIDS PEOPLE WILL LAUGH AT YOU.

A dad has been caught on camera kissing his three-day-old baby on the head before abandoning it in a church. Bitto Davis, 32, from Kerala, India, and his 28-year-old wife, Pravitha, were later arrested after the chilling footage was aired on local TV. Church security staff found the baby at 8.30 p.m. Thursday and called the police, reports India Today. They then reviewed the CCTV, which shows the dad strolling in before carefully placing his child on the ground. He then walks away but seemingly cannot help glancing back at the child one last time. When police detained the man and his wife, they reportedly claimed they had abandoned their own child because people laughed at them for having too many kids. It has been reported friends and family had mocked Pravitha for becoming pregnant again. A police officer told the Indian Express: “They already have three sons, aged eight, six and four and this was their fourth child.

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: YOU EAT ALL THE CHEEZ-ITS, YOU ARE GONNA PAY THE PRICE.

A St. Johns County man accused of hitting a child for eating Cheez-Its and drinking tea was arrested on a child cruelty charge on Wednesday, a report by Action News Jax said. According to the report, deputies were called to 58-year-old Kerry Knudsen’s home and arrived to find him intoxicated. Authorities said he had told the child not to “eat all the Cheez-Its or drink all the tea,” but the child did anyway — leading to a scuffle in which Knudsen hit the child in the face with a closed fist.

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Boner Candidate #2: AIRING THAT PHOTO WAS A MISTAKE…YA THINK?

The former owners of a Vermont television station will pay an undisclosed out-of-court settlement to the family of a murdered teacher after a photo of her nude body was aired during a news broadcast. Richard and Phil Ann Jenkins of Newport filed suit in March 2016 against CBS affiliate WCAX-TV, saying they suffered severe emotional distress after the station aired the image of the body of their daughter, Melissa Jenkins, during an October 2014 broadcast. The station was covering the trial of Allen Prue, of Waterford, who was later convicted of the 2012 killing of Melissa Jenkins.

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Boner Candidate #3: I LOVE PEOPLE BUT YOU RAINED ON MY PARADE.

A parade float that depicts a black baby hanging from a tree has caused outrage after appearing in the line-up of community groups and businesses at the Holley June Fest Saturday. A photo from the event shows a gray van with what appears to be a black child hanging from a tree with a pair of handcuffs hanging off the elbow and a deer in a black jacket. On the roof of the van seems to be a rocking horse and a skeleton in kayak with some sort of figure sitting in a chair. Holley Mayor Brian Sorochty confirmed the float in question was created by Peter Gewerz of Kent. Sorochty said they started receiving calls of complaints Saturday evening after photos hit social media. “This is very disturbing and very sad to hear. We would never approve any insulting content for the festival,” Sorochty said.

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