Boner Candidate #1: HE’S LUCKY THE DONKEY DIDN’T PUNCH BACK
An Illinois man is facing animal cruelty charges for allegedly punching a donkey in the face, an attack the suspect recorded and later posted to his Twitter account. According to cops, Lucas Dietrich, 18, slugged the donkey while visiting Willoughby Farm in Collinsville, an Illinois city about 12 miles from St. Louis. Dietrich, was at the farm late last month attending a birthday party. Investigators allege that Dietrich punched Amore, a 13-year-old miniature Mediterranean donkey, below the animal’s right ear. The donkey was not seriously injured during the attack. Cops learned of the donkey punch after being tipped that a video of the incident had been uploaded to Twitter. In short order police identified Dietrich as the donkey assailant. Dietrich was arrested on a pair of misdemeanor animal cruelty charges and booked into the Madison County jail (from which he was released Friday after posting $5000 bond). Dietrich is next due in court on April 27.
Boner Candidate #2: WE NEEDED A CAR TO GET TO COURT DIDN’T WE?
Police describe it as a “bizarre” arrest. A LoJack signal alerted police to the stolen SUV, and when officers found the car, the car thieves were headed to the Metropolitan Courthouse to pick up an ankle monitor from a previous case. According to Albuquerque police, stolen cars tracked down by a LoJack signal is a fairly common occurrence, at least once a week. According to the criminal complaint, detectives received a silent alert to an apartment complex near Jefferson and Montgomery around 9 a.m. Thursday. When detectives arrived, they found a stolen black GMC SUV parked at the complex. Moments later, the two male suspects got into the car and drove off. Officers said the pair drove around town aimlessly, before they eventually stopped downtown near Fifth Street and Marble. They got out of the car and walked towards the Metropolitan Courthouse. Officers were able to arrest the two suspects without incident. The driver was identified as Alfonso Rodriguez, 20, and the passenger John Benavidez, 19. Rodriguez had just gotten out of jail a few days earlier and was on his way to get an ankle monitor. “He was actually on a conditions for release on a kidnapping and some assault charges from 2016,” said Officer Fred Duran, Albuquerque Police Department. According to the criminal complaint from that case, he stole a vehicle at gunpoint. The passenger, Benavidez, is also no stranger to the law. “Was previously arrested from two other stolen vehicles, and this would be his third receiving transferring charge,” said Officer Duran. Police said it is frustrating having to use resources on the same offenders over and over again. “Didn’t even get the chance to put an ankle monitor on him before he was back at MDC again,” said Officer Duran. Detectives said the two suspects admitted to knowing the car was stolen. They told police an unidentified man gave it to them. The SUV was returned to its owner. The owner had installed the LoJack tracking device just a couple months ago.
Boner Candidate #3: ARE YOU SURE THAT’S THE DOLL YOU WANT HONEY?
A photo of a young white girl, clutching a black baby doll, has gone viral — thanks to its message of racial diversity and inclusion. The image was posted to Facebook on Friday by the 2-year-old’s mother, Brandi Benner, after her daughter was called out by a Target employee for not buying a similar-looking doll. It has since been shared more than 170,000 times and liked by over 250,000 people. “Nick and I told Sophia that after 1 whole month of going poop on the potty, she could pick out a special prize at Target,” Benner wrote, in reference to her daughter Sophia, who can be seen in the picture smiling from ear-to-ear with her brand new best friend. “She, of course, picked a new doll,” Benner said. “While we were checking out, the cashier asked Sophia if she was going to a birthday party. We both gave her a blank stare. She then pointed to the doll and asked Sophia if she picked her out for a friend. Sophia continued to stare blankly and I let the cashier know that she was a prize for Sophia being fully potty trained. The woman gave me a puzzled look and turned to Sophia and asked, ‘Are you sure this is the doll you want, honey?’ Sophia finally found her voice and said, ‘Yes, please!’”
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