Boner Candidate #1: YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD “DIVERSITY” IS CODE FOR DON’T YOU?
Flyers saying “diversity is a code word for white genocide” and urging students to join the self-described “alt-right” appeared at Weber State University on the first day of classes Monday. Around the same time the papers went up on campus, other posters advertising a screening of the Ava DuVernay documentary “From Slave to Criminal With One Amendment” were removed. The screening is hosted by the Young Democrats of Utah, which believes the incidents are linked and is “very troubled to hear that this movement had made its way up to Weber State University,” said Lorcan Murphy, president of the group. The white-nationalist flyers were torn down by the time administrators learned of them, the university said Monday. But the school would have taken them down if it had the chance.
Boner Candidate #2: AND, HE HAD A LOT MORE ROOM UP THERE.
A Florida man is now the butt of police’s jokes. Pattreon Stokes is charged with stuffing over $1,000 into his rectum in a sorry attempt to hide the cash from cops, according to the Marion County Sheriff’s Office. The 26-year-old was pulled over by authorities for speeding early Saturday morning. The deputy who pulled Stokes over smelled marijuana coming from inside the car and a search was carried out. Cops found 197 grams of methamphetamine, rock cocaine and 4 grams of heroin. A small scale, a small amount of marijuana and a large amount of money were also found. Stokes also had a 7-month-old child in the car at the time. However, when deputies later showed up to collect the money Stokes had on him, they discovered the cash was gone. Stokes allegedly claimed it had already been collected.
Boner Candidate #3: THE NEXT BEST THING IF YOU DIDN’T HAVE ECLIPSE GLASSES
A man is sprayed with sunscreen in Indioo, Calif. (Reuters) A health professional in California reported cases where eclipse-viewers sought medical treatment because they put sunscreen on their eyeballs to view last week’s solar eclipse. KRCTV.com reported that these individuals applied the sunscreen because they did not have the NASA-approved eyewear. “One of my colleagues at moonlight here stated yesterday that they had patients presenting at their clinic that put sunscreen on their eyeball, and presented that they were having pain and they were referred to an ophthalmologist,” Trish Patterson, a nurse at Prestige Urgent Care in Redding, Calif., said.
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