Boners

Boner (Round One) for July 14th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: I’M HERE TO RECLAIM MY PROPERTY

 Authorities say a New Hampshire woman arrested for drug possession returned to the police station to demand the drugs be returned to her, and she was rearrested. An officer told 26-year-old Emily Morin, of Concord, he wouldn’t return the Suboxone, a highly addictive substance that can be used to treat heroin addiction. It was seized as evidence during her arrest stemming from a shoplifting incident Tuesday. The officer said he saw Morin get into a car and start to drive away. Earlier, police determined that Morin’s license and registration were suspended. She was arrested after a struggle. Morin was being arraigned Wednesday on charges of driving after suspension, breach of bail and resisting arrest, in addition to drug and willful concealment charges.It wasn’t clear if she had a lawyer.

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Boner Candidate #2: BUT YOU DON’T LOOK LIKE MY SON

A North Carolina man has been arrested after police said he convinced an elderly man with dementia that he was the man’s son and used the relationship fraudulently. The Asheville Citizen-Times reported that 24-year-old Devontae Dequarius Gaines of Hendersonville has been charged with obtaining property by false pretenses and exploiting a disabled or elderly person. Police said last October, Gaines convinced a 74-year-old man suffering from dementia that the older man helped raise Gaines when he was a child. The two had never met. Warrants state that because of the false relationship, Gaines was able to obtain $300 and another $93 in goods and services at a gas station. It was not known if Gaines has an attorney.

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Boner Candidate #3: THE MEXICANS CAN’T AFFORD TO BUILD THAT WALL BY THEMSELVES

He wants to build a wall — and make Planned Parenthood pay for it. An Iowa Congressman wants to take federal funding from Planned Parenthood and the food stamp program to pay for President Trump’s border wall. Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) told CNN on Wednesday that he not only supports a House bill that would put $1.6 billion into building the wall between the US and Mexico — he’d like to kick in another $5 billion. “And I would find half of a billion dollars of that right out of Planned Parenthood’s budget. And the rest of it could come out of food stamps and the entitlements that are being spread out for people that haven’t worked in three generations,” he said.

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