Boners

Boner (Round Two) for July 14th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: THE NEW SESAME STREET CHARACTER….COKE MONSTER

Cops in Florida apparently found that C is for cocaine, too. A Key West man was busted Wednesday when he was caught with more than 300 grams of cocaine hidden inside a Cookie Monster doll, according to the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office. Camus McNair, 39, was pulled over just after midnight when a deputy spotted a black Dodge with its license plate obscured and windows tinted so dark that the deputy could not see inside. McNair rolled down his window and the responding deputy could smell marijuana emanating from the vehicle, prompting a subsequent search of the car that turned up a backpack containing a blue Cookie Monster doll from the Sesame Street franchise.

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Boner Candidate #2: I’D LIKE TO WORK, BUT NO ONE WILL HIRE ME. .

Yeah, should have probably thought things through first. As someone who has tattoos, I can understand that sometimes people will treat you differently or look at you differently. I can also understand that if you get a massive face tattoo you might have a tad trouble getting a job. And that’s exactly the situation with Mark Cropp. The 19-year-old from New Zealand has just finished his two-year-sentence for armed robbery, and of course needs a job now that he’s a free man. There’s only one problem: the huge tattoo reading ‘DEVAST8’ that covers his face.

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Boner Candidate #3: HE COULDN’T DRIVE, BUT STILL HE LOVED THAT CAR

Odds are, 7-year-old Nino Welcome will never drive a car because of a rare, debilitating disease that confines him to a wheelchair. On top of that, early Thursday morning an unknown vandal torched the car he loved. Someone popped open a small vent window of the family’s classic Mustang, tossed in some fireworks and fled. The car was parked in the driveway of Nino’s parents, Brett and Tonia Welcome. The orange-and-black 1970 Mach I Ford Mustang had been restored by Nino’s grandfather, Fred Welcome of Ozark, who gave it to the boy on his birthday in May. The Mustang was a big part of the boy’s life. “It occupies his mind day and night,” says, Brett, 44, his dad.

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